omg... all my old scripples... O.O oh well, dunt got jack to talk 'bout anyway I've been on my knees and begged that someone to get stomething to eat for a while now... my wuv always makes me get down on my knees and begged my baby to get something to eat, cuz it upset me when my baby dunt eat T_T now this stupid azs laptop is pizsing me off... been doing lotsa writing lately... so much that I can't writes, one day to finishes up a chapter iz killing me... and the writer's block shytz too... stupid azs research papers, and story papers... >_< so much things needs to be done... currently working on chapter 5 for next tuesday... and then 6 for thursday... ah... fek the typing azs font thingy... so lazy to put my poems back on again... if can't type in eng. then not gonna worry about putting it back on then... getting 2 much crabazs things to get straight... well, that all the anger ah got fer noww... dam the typing thingy....
-next day in morning-
wooo... got in fight with my baby... dammit... than ah have ta apologized for like a long time... but my baby says it's no biggie... I know cuz my baby can't be mad at me... finally got someone told me ah can turn off the vietnamese button thingy.. hooo.. yeah!!! *blinks* .... that's corny of me...
*sighs* but must we fight everytime we talk? I wuv you too much, but arguing about the smallest things... is so not good... >_< I guess I've become very possessive of you, and so overprotective that it drives me insane... is it true that wuv is insane, as you had said it is? Though I am very happy that you eat, and I don't have to get down on my knees to beg you to get something to eat like I've been doing for a week now... you're so good... I'm so very proud of you, my wuv... but my mind become tainted when I'm being hugged by you... must be something wrong with me... shame on me for having such thoughts...
Can we be together when I visit you? can I stay at your place? can I crash in your room? you'll have to think about it? That's okay, but you'll have to stay with me at the hotel then... in another room? no, I mean in same room with me... but a two beds room... oh, you'll stay? that's getting weird... how so? just you won't let me stay in your room, but it's okay to stay in same room with me in the hotel... >_< it could be bad... why? cuz I might sneak over to you when you asleep... and snuggles up against you... ^_^ ... see? shameful thoughts, isn't it? I feel and sounds like a perv... >_< no, I'm not? awww... I wuv you...
sun...day...
*waves like an idiot* yosh... i drank a glass of mix drink last night... did you got laid afterward? ah?! did u get laid? *blinks* um.. no... I went to played game and crash to sleep... what game? hunting game.. girl hunting game? no, monster.. hunting monstrousity hot girls? omg.. noooo... ur brain ok? what? the part inside ur skull... you confuseing me.. right.. yes you are... no, and I need to shower... be back in 15 mins or so.. k...
you confuses reading it yet? ;) oh yeah... my wuv being good and have dinner when we talked... I told my baby I wuved my baby very much... asked me what kind of wuv is it.. hmm... dunno.. same as always, i guess... somehow my wuv sound disappointed a bit, but it's all good... we make up... now my baby taking a shower.. and no.. I don't imagine my baby takign a shower... so don't you go imagine it.. pervs... hahaha.. ja ne....
Tuesday, 12 am
-okay, so went out for dinner.. blah..blah..blah.. you know right? Lynnee nói me so pale... làm như she mập hơn me lắm vậy >_< thiệt tình... đan nghe destiny's desire, is it love? , on the couch, and broken dreams... all sung by As One... >_< ca nghe dã quá trùi luôn... yesh, me know how to viết tiếng việt for ur info... just cuz me no want to.. hehehehe... cuz đánh tiếng việt lâu bỏ má luôn... next post be something of a thing I did... and I won't edit on here.. just reply to this post.. cuz it something completely not related to this one.. hahaha.. yup... something I did with my wuv... if u like it, drop a line ppl... I like some feed back on how it is, and how u take it.. but plz dunt be rude and say mean things... well, ja ...

okay, sucky.... nothing can be done.. cuz all the stuffs kinda went down the drain... I think me and my wuv will soon break up our relationship... yep... time fly by and our relationship is falling apart... let it be that it is not meant to be, so we must keep that in mind... please be it if we ever meet again, someday... we will be able to think back on our happy times and talk about it... without any kind of awkwardness to it... my wuv told me that () having hungarian food... wow.. makes me me drool... but my wuv promised me to cook me the food someday... man, I can't wait til then... hahaha.. yesh... very much wanted to have a taste of my wuv's cooking... and baking too... >_< sadly i can't do any of those... sad... though we might work on our story together tonight.. if () comes on... cuz I'm always on.. but I did go to bed early for the last two nights.. just tire and not feeling myself of late... well, ja ne...

that's life...từ từ mà làm...but don''t procastinate nha... làm ahead thi` better á...but con người mà...lúc nào mà chẳng đợi tới nước tới chân mới nhảy...good luck nha...
Tee

ok... hỏng hiểu Tee nói gì hết...
okay... update on my crazy life... get to see some guys get yiffy.... it was funny as hell, thought I'm gonna die from laughing... or at least fall out of the chair I'm in and laughs my fricken head off.... just so funny... oh, my wuv was on for a bit, then went home... cuz () was at () cousin's house when we talks... bad huh? but didn't see my wuv back on after that... run into some random room... and meet this guy... um.. being chain to wall by two girls... and they run off after that... >_< weirdness... so I take my guns out and bang... bang... got him free... then we talks about things... psss... he's a dragon... lucky him, I didn't feel like killing a dragon last night... hahaha... then... tons of ppl come on in... omg... they all are like the ignorant of the masses.... >_< bleh... so we move to another random room... yup.. then got invite into a yiffy conference... O.O wooooo... that's when everything went down hill... it was so hilarious, pile of furs and scales...
yesh, I did get my biz papers done.. but still needs to type it up and print it out, will have to leave for school early to do that... but I have a feeling he will frisk me no matter what... damn teacher... oh well... just life...
and yesh, I'm still wuved by my wuv like always.. and misses me like always... hahaha...
me: hey...
my wuv: hey
me: miss me? *big grins*
my wuv: always...
me: awwww... *blushes* I'm wuved.... *heart*
my wuv: you beatcha...
see? I'm still being wuved like it always been.. well, after one week talking to each other... then I got my wuv's unconditional wuv... ^_^ :3
well, all for now... ja nee...


yesh... once again we fight and make up like always... hahaha... i'm always wuved like hell... yup..
-I'm off to do something bad... or not... but getting almost killed, and stampeed by a hot looking cutey is another thing. She pinned me down on the floor, almost got me there. hahaha... wanna makes me hers, >_<; scares me to death... well more later.. ja..

it is a neverending problem between us... i have a feeling that our friendship will crash pretty soon... crash and burns like the midnight oil... hahaha... as a friend... i've become so obssessive over you that it become imperable for me to get out and leave you be, just like all your other friends does... somehow, i just can't do it and ended up getting myself hurt because of you... i've become mentally weak because of you, your words and either make or break me... and my stupid friend thinks it only happens to someone you fall in love with... hah! what a laugh, cuz i'm not in love with you. i am your friend, and that's all to it. some things you says that i know you do not know that it pierced my heart, maybe because i'm too open with you and as a consequence... you tears it apart without even knowing that you're doing it... *sighs* i've live in solitude most of my life, even with the surrounding of family... i locked myself up along with my feelings, emotions, and most of all.. my heart.
I care so much for you,
but you just never notices it
I trust you with all my heart,
but you never trusted me
I show you my heart,
but you just tears it apart
I wonder why I'm still your friend,
when you're so closed up on me
can't i just leave it all behind? my pain, my suffering, and my troubles? i didn't know that i would suffer from your words alone the day i met you, i didn't know that i ended up being so weak in front of you. i didn't know that i would be at your every whims... the last one broke my heart, and you... you will do the same as the last one... maybe more... though the last one is not pessimestic as you, she actually very optomestic to say the least... the last one like you... told me that i'm her best friend... but we are not... not even close... we are just friend... and it is time to change friend... and so she forgot me... that's when i know... my world don't revolves around her no more... that's when i know, my friendship heart is broken to tiny pieces. for all the time we known each other, it is still enough to keep our friendship alive... so you see? our friendship too... will wither away...
don't tell me that i'm your best friend... it doesn't mean anything to me anymore... i trusted it once, and look where it got me... nowhere.. only heartache and pain... but you'll never know... how suck it is to have a friend that hurts you more than your lover can hurt you... not that i have one, mind you... i am tire of cheering you up everytimes you're down, i'm tire of always trying to be there for you... because you cannot cheer me up when i'm down, you cannot be there for me when i'm about to crash into the concrete wall of pain...
shedding my tears for your pain, wasting my time over your words... but it's worth it when you smiles... but... that was a while ago... now i see it is not worth it at all... going through the pain in my heart when you say something that kills me... but i have to hide it from you... so that you won't feel bad about it... i've grow tire of this, tire of this suffering... maybe soon, i can let you go... your way, and i'll go my way. hoping and praying that my then tattered heart... will mend itself someday... then no more shall i fall for another friend, and become the way i am right now... pains, heartache, and sufferings... i grows old and tire of these feelings i have to deal with daily...

Love gives the expectation
It comes with the suffering
But it tries not to tear u apart
Thats you who cry out
Thats you who tear it away
Thats you who become too confident

Love gives the love itself
It hates being betrayed
But betraying is on each part of life
Thats life, a haft being betrayed, a haft being loved
Thats how its contant's never gone...
Thats how its passion gives the promise
Trannie Nguyen CA 5:45pm

hope ya feel better w luv, chibi, thanks 4 sharin

-thanky trannie... very cool poems... though I'm confident when it comes to my friend... life is always an obstacle for you to lead... all depends on how you lead your life...

so I think is it time for me to move on and leave you to go your way, but you do not want me to. Despise my effort to leave, I cannot leave... forgive my heart, I am not strong enough...
I wanted to leave,
but you want me to stay
I wanted to gorget,
but you makes me remember
I wanted to live in peace,
but you bring me disaster
why must you begs me to stay, only to be hurt by you? over and over again... my dear, you say my words can hurt you and even makes you cry... but it is only my past that you feel pain... but it is not hurting or crying that you shed for me, but it is pity that you show me. I tell you my past because you are my friend and I trusted you. I did not tell you my past to have your pity upon me, maybe you should know what truly can hurt and what is pity. I, for once need no pity from you. I don't show you pity when you told me things that happened to you, but I show you my compassions and my wuv for you...
you says for I shouldn't live a life in solitude, but I am surrounded by my family. dear, you do not know how my family is... although we live in the same house, yet we don't communicate... so pretty much my kitty, I am confinded to my own term of world... I am easy to make friends and easy to chase them away, for I... my dear... am a person of abnormality... some says I'm bizarre and soem says I am weird... but whatever I am... I am just being myself... ja ne...


okay, typo with the confident part... gawd... I'm not confident with her at all...
-It is hard to say what one wanted to say... we talked last night, til my brother unplugged on me and I got kicked off... dunno if you gonna be mad at me or not... been raining since early morning... hates it when it rains... makes me sweepy ... just don't tell me to see a doctor, cuz i'm not sick... i know you worry and all, but i fine... just like you always says... you told me you got headache... but you so dam persistent about getting some rest for that headache of yours... why you like to being so stubborn on me? hm?
It was fun, while it last... haven't have much fun since that day you know more about me... well, i won't say much since nothing else to say... for now that is... ja ne...


so, sucky as hell... cuz got to finish paper for biz class.. and u got sunburn... geez... =.= eww.. lack of sleep sux... and now my body sore like crazy... >_< cuz I went bowling with my brother yesterday, cuz it his b-day ow..ow..ow.. this sux... oh yeah.. just put up ~Onegai Love~ my own creation.. since I asked hoppho to delete my other work... cuz didn't got the title til now... shame on me, I know... I also works on the art cover right now, it's supposed to due last week... but I didn't get to draw my art cover for the story.. so asked the teacher to postpone it til this tuesday... yesh.. I'm terrible, I know... I was scanning through the book to writes the word 'Onegai' in japanese... oh, by the way.. onegai means please.. so onegai love = please love... put about 2 chapters on... I'm working on chapter 8 currently... but class be over this week, so I don't technically have to work on it anymore... but let see how things go... if I get some good reaction and review? I might continues... last one I did was 13 chapters long... and unfinished chapter 14... been a long time since I worked on it... feel out of sync with the story... so not working on it anymore... ^_^;; yup... been sucky and soggy... so let see if my brain works (note: it never works right) teach dying to know what happens next... think he be disappointed with my latest chapter.. (7) who knows.. he draws a bear on my chapter 6 papers... >_<;; well, ja ne...

okay.. so ur friend stole ur guy from u.. big deal, right? heck no!!! u hate em.. HATE EM...!!! *shudders* weirdo.. this is why u can never harden ur heart.. cuz you keep on falling in love... geez... and you told me that's that.. u're done with falling in love... cuz it hurt u so bad... u know? if u mad, express it through writing... not punching the wall, it didn't do anything to u to be punches at... but u don't listen.. so forget it, i just wasted my time trying to help u only to turns out useless...
-so... i'm rewatching 'tennis no ojisama' again.. waiting for the rest to come out.. then i'll ring criss up for it.. hahaha.. yeah.. she kinda slow on getting it for me... but i like it more than 'madlax, bakuretsu tenshi, SAK2, airmaster, getbackers, tokyo underground, gungrave, noir, etc...' the list can go on forever... hahaha.. yesh, i'm a big anime/manga fans.. currently reading 'tennis no ojisama, bleach, hana-kimi, fruit baskets, tactics, etc...' a little off on both section since i'm so busy with school and work.. yup.. and also broke too.. can't stay up to date with em things anymore... also doing my biz plan on opening an anime/manga store.. only carry anime,manga,posters,and best of all? drama CDs... woot...!!! wanna get juvenile orion drama CDs but so hard to get... yup.. hoping to be able to get the plan done and then get some money and a partner... then the biz will be open... slowly we'll expand our store to be open all over the country speciallizing in anime/manga only... be AWESOME!!! well, all for now.. gotta get back on editing the story and working on the art cover for it.. due today.. shoot... >_<;;


So I just got out the house, suddenly I hear a hissing sound comes from my left. I turns to look and see a huge object heading towards me, and realizes that it is something really bad. I freak out and duck down on the floor quickly, because Holy Mother of Cow!!! I still want to live, mind you... The neighbor's car went aflame when the thing made contact with it, and scrap of metals went flying all over the place. After the explosion dies down, I scrambles to my feet and heads for my Suzuki bike. I haul it out of the driveway and speed off, and real fast too.
I drives over to Killy's house, and only to find her body dangling outside the front door. Wasn't a pretty sight and I almost hurl, though I think my face turns very pale or so. I rushes off to check on Matty, and he's okay so I stayed at his place. Gawd, he got some pretty heavy things in his house. Yesh, very scary... all the guns and bazooka... wow... O.O it was like my eyes pops out of its sockets when I see em things he got.
The sound of gunfire can be heard not far from our place, we pack as much firepower as we can and hide away. I got 2 .45mm automatics, 20 clips, a shotgun, and its ammos. He got a Colt and some guns along with ammos... He takes the second floor while I takes shelter behind the couch in the living room. Someone kicks the door open, why in the world would they do that? I mean, it's not even lock... geezus... stupid people...
I hear some footsteps head up to the second floor, and I'm sure they ain't gonna come down. So I quietly put my bluish vision goggle on, before aming my gun just above the back of the chair and pulls the trigger. I think I send one guy's brain splatters on the others' face. I cock it again and pulls the trigger, and then I reload it and pulls the trigger until there are none left to shoot at.
Hears a couple of loud shot from second floor, the Colt is kinda loud if I do say so myself. I sees hole in chest, head, stomache, and even a missing bottom part of the reproductive function too. yeesh... bleh... Guess I need to aim before I pulls the trigger, but hey got them all.
"Yow... That doesn't look so good if he's still alive," Matty says as he comes down the steps. "No kidding," I nods my head at the body with the missing bottom part. "You handle the shotgun pretty or so I see..." he smiles at me. "A little jolt back from the forces, but it's awesome. Can I have some more ammos? Running low," I reload the bullets. "Already got your back on that," he smirks and went back upstairs. I seriously don't know what is running through his mind at that moment, but it's not that I care what he thinks either.
"Here!" he calls to me from upstairs and throws at me a bag. "Ugh..." I loses my balance for a sec catching the heavy black bag. "Those are for the shotgun, I have don't have any of the reg here. I think it will be enough to pull us through 'til we reaches the reg's ammos storage." he rushes down and out of the house in minutes. "But you do have enough for your Colt, right?" I asks him as we both start our bike.


okay.. so things are a bit array for me.. so what? uh.... *thinks* dunno? just read some stuffs today... i think that i put something really weird on my site again... hah! and i just mess around with a skin for the site this morning.. searching for one... take it and edit it.. so weird... dun even know how it work actually... i just randomly changes it and all that.. looks kinda nice though.. hah.. amazing huh? been lazy of late... only playing GW again.. yup... got into it again.. and maybe got out soon and in and out... in and out... this is getting lame just typing the same stuffs again and gain.. see? O.O;; well, gotta git ohf now... class.. final.. kakaka.. then home.. and GW!!! muwahahaha... yesh.. i'm a lv 7 gonna work til lv 8 or 9 then cross over to help a helpless idiot on the other side who happens to be me guildmates... fellow officers.. yeesh.. >_< not so fun... either that or he oughtta help me yup yup.. well, ja ne...

-We speed off the road and take it through the street of Manhattan, he's always in front of me. make me mad, cuz he likes to cut, but hey... if a bullet come for me, he be dead first. Yesh, I call him Matty cuz he's a beefy guy with a nag for weapons that it is so scary, so don't ever mess with him. So we skip town and heads towards New Jersey, looking for Miq(mick), another fellow of ours.
"You know what happened to Killy?" I asks him as we stops in fron of an apartment building. "Don't tell me, she's dead..." he honks the horn. "Yeah..." I shivers a bit at the vision of it. "MICK!!! Get your ass out here or I'll make your life a living hell!" Matty shouts. "Calm down psychopath," I whispers to him. "Looks who's talking now," he smirks at me. "Oh Miq... Pack everything and come down here before I come up there and blow your brain out," I calls up. "Coming!!!" the guy poke his head out of the window and calls down to us. "Hurry it up!!!" Matty says. "Shut up then!" Miq fire back at him.
We hurry off and heads south, Miq ride with Matty. We come to a hotel and stop there for rest, I think we're in Virginia not sure. The three of us pack up in the same room like a bunch of sardines pack in a can, who knows since it would be bad if we stay single.
"So what you got with you?" Matty asks Miq as he flops down on the bed. "A bag full of reg ammos, .45mm automatic only." Miq grins and pulls out a gun from his shoulder holster. "Good, trade with mine then." I says taking out my guns and throw it on bed. "Cool..." he looks like he's about to drool over it. "Hey, don't drool on it," Matty laughs. "My bad," Miq picks the guns up and put it away. "Now give me your gun," I says holding out my hand at him. He hands it to me, then we all clean up our tools.
"What the hell is going on?" Matty finally asks what has been on his mind. "Dunno, but someone wanted us dead." I shrugs and continues on cleaning my shotgun. "Oh joy..." Miq being sarcastic. "Ain't it?" Matty joins in. "How many of them are there?" Miq becomes serious again. "Dunno, but the one with the damn bazooka is very dnagerous. Just watch out for those bastards," I says grimly and loads the guns.
to be continues.....

okay, we so not talking lately anymore... Oh... NO!!! oh hell, she is now giving me the whatever thing... and as always, it pizs me off like hell... our communication racks so bad lately... I really don't care that much anymore... getting sick and tire of it now. It's just so hard for me to worry 'bout T when we hardly talk 'bout anything anymore... muchly T don't listen to anything I says either.. hah, very amusing huh?
ain't nothing any better than this shyt, but life is just life aite? But I really wanna keep this relationship of ours going for as long as we can, I seriously want to work this out though... This is what I wanted from us, I wanted T to trust me whole heartedly. So far? It ain't happening and there's nothing I can help it, we live so far apart and that might be the reason. I'll keep on trying, but I'm getting tire of being the one worry about T all the time.
Please tell me, is it a good thing...? I just don't know what to do about it anymore, I really don't know...
Things have gone from bad to worse, and believe me. I do hope it is much better than it should be, but this is really depressing... Not that there's not enough things to drags me into the pit of darkness already, so our problem is just another thing to pulls me down even further...

so things doesn't go so well lately, yeah i know... lame as hell as always. T got hang over, so bed up early last night, been like 2 days since we talked... avoiding me? *shrugs* who knows... doesn't matter anymore... just glad that T is doing better and all.
oh yeah, i played GW last night, this one person was kind enough to give me a fiery sword, blue color... hah... with awesome attk... and i did have a 4 skill in swordsmanship.. yup, so it works like a charm... but the charr is like a swirm of them gain up on me, so i'm pretty dead either way... hah... yeah, night before last? this guy is a lv 19 but he trying to sell me a red fiery sword for you know how much? 6.5k can you believe it?! man, that's so fricken rip off on new player like me... i can sell all of my items and i still don't have 6.5k.... hate it when old players trying to rip off of new players... sob, can't find any serious players cuz they all are just buncha snoobs...
i got so many quests/missions that i kinda don't know what the heck to do about it. can't find a group to work with, so i hire henchies... ugh... they sux like you've never seen em before... so once again, i'm a loner and no guild... seriously, no more guild... they all dead and shyt like that... not active at all, pizs me off... hate it when ppl drag you into their guild and just fricken ignore you...
well, more to come when my life fall into the pit of darkness again... hah!

ok, i dream fo something really weird last night... warning: very lemon/hentai... read at your own risk...

i was running around with this girl, not a clue who she was. don't ask... she looks hot and all though, there's some weird creatures chasing us. woo... creepy... and it turns out that she's my girl.. hah... weirder at the moment too.
"Are you sure this is ok?" I asked her. "Yes," she purrs at me. spooky huh? at that moment? i think i was sitting on a bed, and she stands right in front of me. "I can't believe, I'm force into doing this..." I whined at her. "Come on, you know you want it. So don't be so hostile against me," she bend down and leaned close to me. so close that i can feel her warm breath against my cheek, and i don't know why my heart beat so fast either. "Hello... we just got chased by some restless corpses jiggy ma thingy... are you kidding me?!" my eyes are so huge, it's funny. "It works you up, doesn't it?" she smiles slightly at me as she begin to undone her shirt.
"That has nothing to do with this," i complained to her. her pale complexion looks beautiful under the light, but i didn't bother to look at her. "It makes you look hotter and makes me want you the more than usual," she took my chin and held my attention at her pretty face. "It's not like you ever got any interest in me, and now you do?" i can't stop looking into her beautiful blue eyes. it is so hypnotic, so ocean blue, so lovely that you feel like you're drowning in it. "I've always have my eyes on you, but you never looked at me. not even once," she look at me sharply, so sharp that i think my mind just got cut in half.
"But..." "Shhh..." she put her finger on my lips before i could get what i wanted to say out. "It doesn't matter anymore..." she leans towards me and presses her lips against mine. next thing i know, she's sitting on my lap and look into my eyes once again. but the pretty cleavage keep on pulling my eyes away from her sweet face, and i heard her giggles at my reaction to her now half naked top. "What are you thinking?" she finally had her hands on my head and look down at me. "...." i'm so lost that i can't even answers her at all.
She laughs again and leans down and kisses me deeply, so deeply that i couldn't resisted the temptation no more. her lips are so inviting, and suddenly i feel her tongue searching for mine. i closed my eyes and let my tongue teases hers, as my hands rested on her hips feeling her soft skin. she combs her hands through my scruffy short hair, while our lips search for each other over and over again.
"My, you're a fast learner..." she said giving me a wicked smile of her. i didn't say anything in replied as i reach up and pull the straps down her shoulders, as i kissed her neck. she lets out a light laugh as i undone her bra, and her cheeks went bright red as i throw her bra on the floor. i just looks at those round, soft looking breasts of hers, and she just giggles looking down at me.
"you're gettig hot, let me help you cool down then." she said and begin to undo my shirt, then took off my t-shirt. i held her close and sit her down on the bed, then i undone her skirt and panties too. i notices that her cheeks are glowing bright red by now, as i kneel down and begin to work on her between the legs. "Ohhh... please, be gentle..." she cried out. i worked on her til her body went limped.
She comb her hands through my hair again before pulling me up, i quietly oblige and sits there quietly as she get on her knees. she unzipped my pants and put it in her mouth, bobbing up and down. i rested my hand on her head and let out a soft groan to it. finally she gets up and pushed me down on bed and crawl on top of me, smile slightly she sits on top of me slipping it inside of her slowly.
then the damn clock wakes me up... if u like.. i can come up with another more detailed story...

so no tap thingy... woohoo... so once again, things go from nice to sour. sometimes i wish i know why it hurt so much just about the littlest thing we argue about... oh.. and the new layout (pink) looks lovely... but i like blue better...
last night, a friend come back from the vac... and got a bf O.O wow... they getting marry soon too... hah, suddenly i feel like hitting something so bad... dunno what i feel but it's not pretty. T is also on, haven't talked for like 4 or 5 days... just feel like forever... that's all i know.
we talked for a while, and T says something i didn't get. i asked what T mean by that, T's answer? 'it's nothing' .... last straw... i totally give up, it's always like that...so frustrated that i took it all out on T, wasn't really saying it T's fault... well, kinda... i mean, i wanna get to know T better... but everytime i tried to, i ended up hitting a wall... and if you hitting the wall too much? you just snaps and give up on it...
it sux, and i hate feeling like a wreck when T's around. but i feel worse than last night, a complete wreck and totally pathetic. *sighs* man, i never feel this bad since T told me about how T tried ot commit suicided before... that was like a while back, and i was totally a wreck then. now i'm a wreck, pathetic, frustrated, and so weak about everything we discuss so far... it's like all my effort in trying to make things work out for us is just a waste of time, useless, and completely pointless...
i really don't know how much longer i can held on to this relationship between us, and i seriously feel that my strength is slipping away from me. i haven't felt this weak and pathetic in a long time, not since that one person completely forgot about me. but hey, i'm over it... now T is the one making me feel like a wreck, and pathetic... just don't know how long this will keep up, how long can i hold on? how much longer can i go before i completely lose it? how long before i totally snaps? i'm not sure how long, but i do like to let go of this...
it's like my heart is open, but T's heart is not... and everything T says just like tiny needles aiming for my open heart. so, almost every conversation we had, one way or another i ended up feeling like banging my head against the wall or just find a dark corner and cry. which is very unpleasent to do either, i guess i'm getting soft... so my heart become fragile, *sighs* i just don't know what to do anymore... i seriously don't know what to do or say to T anymore... maybe it's time to give up... maybe it's not meant to be, for us... i dunno...

okay... another fight going on between us again. can't understand it anymore than how far apart we become...
my other friend just send me an email, saying she very sick. not that she would email me if it wasn't for the notice i send about closing down our group. she doesn't want me to close it down, but it doesn't happen til beginning of next year... that was like 6 months away... if nothing changes, then i will shut it down and kick everyone on off. i'm tire of running the place by myself when no one come up to post anything to participate...
cảm thất phiền phức quá đi, như là mình mà ko hỏi thì họ ko có đém xỉa tới mình đâu. nhiều khi thấy bực mình ghê luôn, nó im lặng thật lâu... mình hỏn biết tại sao nên hỏi nó, nó bảo là ko có gì hết. dễ quê ko? mà mỏi lần nói chuyện là mỏi lần gây như là chó với mèo vậy đó. nói chuyện với nó thì tức, bực, buồn, chán nản, thất vọng, đổ quạo luôn nữa là khác. bạn bè gì mà cái gì nó cũng ko nói cho mình biết hết, như là ngày làm như thế nào vv...
lúc nào nói chuyện thì mình cũng phải bắt chuyện trước, riếc rồi thấy mình nói nhiều hơn là nó nói nữa. phát chán luôn, riếc rồi hỏng biết nói gì luôn... giờ thì chơi game, nhiều khi chơi rồi ko thèm lên nói chuyện với nó luôn. nó mà có giận thì cũng kệ nó luôn, mình vơ hai tay lên đầu hàn vô điều kiện rồi. mình giận thì mình nói lẫy, thì nó phải an ủi mình... hỏng dám đâu! nó cọc lóc luôn...
mình nói là nếu nó hỏng chịu nói gì thì mình đi ngũ à, nó bảo thì đi ngũ đi... tức hong? nói chuyện nó hồi mình phát khùng với nó luôn, nỏi cáo kinh dzị luôn đó... bực bội QUÁ đi....

chán quá đi được.... viết bày thì nghĩ hỏng ra, trời thì âm u kinh khủng luôn... Y_Y
shoot, don't know what to writes anymore... just got some very tiresome things to do.. clean up my space last night.. man, all the books are now stack up on the shelves in the garage... :3 yesh, vewy pwease with myself... now i just gotta clean up some more and ta-da... all nice and spacious... woohooooo... yeah baby!
kinda funny how when i writes something in tiếng việt, thiên hạ bà con nhào dzô đọc nhiều ghê luôn... còn mà viết bằng tiếng anh hả? hiếm kinh khũng luôn... hahhaa... so corny quá không hiểu nỏi luôn...
tác phẩm ' Ái Tình Lộn Xộn ' là lần thứ hai mình viết bằng việ ngữ, tác phẩm đầu thì anh ngữ nhiều, rất ít việt ngữ. Rồi mình vừa bỏ lên ' Cuộc Tình Xa or Tình Xa ' quên tựa rùi... tệ ko?sẽ là tác phẩm thứ ba bằng tiếng việt, bảo đảm đọc toàn là thấy chín tả say bét tùm lum luôn... hahahaha... rùi, hỏng biết viết gì nữa hết... tiếng việt viết khó quá... bỏ giấu ko cũng mệt sỉu luôn... còn ko bỏ giấu thì ko ai đọc ra được... mò ko là khóc ra tiếng ma róc luôn... kakaka... later y'all ... i'm southern... aite?

ok... another problem as always... didn't saw T on last night cuz I was on late.. around 1 am... just got off of GW... hah... oh,well... what the heck rite? but I just turn 12 last night on GW some ppl I tried to help go wrong way and got us all lost... ticking me off... oh yeah.. got all my 26 HiME down.. just sitting there watching 3 out of 26... gonna not be on GW and watch HiME instead.. it's funny... and working on negima...
got some dude from VN IMing me... hah... halarious...stupid way of talking... I swear the guy wanna cua me... so lame... hate ppl like that... can't talk right and just talk about nonsense... he works as an IT like I care that much, seriously... he bored me... says his name is Andy.. right.. if you not american.. don't go focking said ur name in eniglish.. unless u american or us citizen... hate it when meeting ppl that act like a buncha azsholes... well, whatever the case... he's bore, uncute... lame... keep on calling me em and xưng anh with me... gawd...*roll eyes* he's so flirtatious too... so corny... but sadly, he's flirting with the wrong person... i got no interest in guys or anyone for that matter of fact... my only interest is in writing, reading, watching anime, playing games.. and cheering my wuv up... but not lately... we haven't confine into each other of late.. dunno what's wrong either... our wuv is not strong like it used to i guess...
would you dare to say that ur friend's words hurt you more than a knife that stabs you in the heart? hurt you more than when you broke up with ur bf/gf ? would you shed a tear because of that? would you? you wouldn't... but to me? i was hurt so bad... and T keep on hurting me over and over again... but T will never know how bad it hurt... and now my other friend... she's hurting me when she told me that her health is not very good... it hurt so bad, sometimes just gotta wish to never met them...
well, ja ne...

okay... suddenly i'm being avoided or something... oh well... *sighs* my network cable went dead last night.. was trying to fix it when some guy saw my profile in VL on the kết bạn IMing me... they trying to cua me man... hate it when ppl do that... I didn't put up looking for a bf, heck, if I want a bf... I'll date a nice american guy... or guys that lives near me and nice... one guy be like: anh cua em được ko? me: ko...
I mean, do ppl do that on the profile? looking for a date?! O.o;; I'm just looking for someone who have same interest as me... not a date.. seriously... mataku... I don't like talking to ppl who will bored me out by asking about my age, name, living place, and have i date or still single... geezus... read the dam file and you should know how old I am and I'm single or not... and even where I live too... what a buncha morons.. gawd... *roll eyes*
Oh... my wuv not on last night... don't know what happened... wish I know... *sighs* me and mooshy help this kid, who's a lv 9... our fellow FLG on his quest... we looked soooo.. hot, hot, hot! cuz we 3 got our fiery sword.. woohoo... yeah baby... it was so much fun... me and mooshy both on lv 12... but bet he be 13 when we meet up tonight.. dam him... XD kakaka... 8 more lvs and me going to underwear... O.o?! ^.^;; ho-boy... oops.. underworld... not underwear... my bad... XD
we talking last night.. mooshy says incest... I was like... O.o?! ^.^;; insects... ?! he like: incest... the scorpions... rest of us... .... ^.^;; me was like... they are insects... not incest... mooshy was like, did I said that? GM, our leader... yeah, you said it twice too... mooshy... oops... XD my bad... everyone is like LOL... it was so funny that I thought I'm gonna die from laughing... hahaha... it was fun, and I did get some completed quests... :3 so happy...
Oh, I check on my mail this morning? guess what?! *jumps up and down* yup... got a comment from my site... yup.. yup... someone want me to update soon... cuz my 'Dawn of Assassins' kinda grabs someone's attention.. woohoo... XD but I just update yesterday morning... so can't come up til sometimes next week.. ;) just haveta see how good my brain function.. cuz I gotta work on chapter 10 on 'Onegai Love' too... hahaha... hard stuffs.. I know.. but hey... just love writing... And I also haveta work on the two vietnamese stories on here too.. might finish up "Ái Tình Lộn Xộn"... then I'll have some times to focus on my other works.. and "Cuộc Tình Xa"... It is somewhat based on something I'm thinking of working in english, but also part of an inspired comic, though I never read it before.. just a little preview about it... gotta go now.. ja ne...

Woohooo... T was on earlier... ^_^ I'm so happy... we haven't talked for a while now... I know.. said I move on.. but I just can't.. I dunno why either... I think I just wuv T a little too much, so no matter how bad our fight is... I still worry and wuv T. Even T know it too, it's just that T been having a lot of things lately... so wasn't on.. or on very late...
Well, I really don't care anymore.. just being able to talk to T makes me happy enough... but now, I kinda feel like crying... knowing T doing alright makes me beyond happy... but at same time... something inside me feel like it is torn apart by an unknown force... and suddenly tears dwell up in my eyes... *wipes a single tear drop away* weird huh? I think I begins to believe and trust T more and more each passing time we met, but I have a feeling that one of these days... everything will crash and I will be crush... but for now, I just can't help it but just believe and trust T... and as time goes by, I wuv T more and more... It is a weakness and that weakness will or might as well... be the death of me...
somehow, everytiime we fight... I always ended up being the one making up wih T.. but never was T the one to make up with me... Maybe I wuv T a little too much to lose T, or it's just that my heart will ache if I let T go. No matter how much I tried to forget about it.. I only worry the more when I don't see T on for like a day or two... I just feel so helpless in this, the fact that I can't tell if T is doing okay or not... that along bother me endlessly... well, I'll stop here... it is 3:30 am already... need to go to my site and update next part of the story or just go to bed.. then do it later instead.. let see how I feel... ja ne..

ok... just post update last night and now I just did it again.. shoot... it's longer than last night... >_< yesh, those readers will get a kick out of it cuz they get 2x the reg update... now I'm not gonna update for a long while again.. XD shame on me huh? can I help it? since I'm stuck with so many things that needed my attention... ;) like working on the original story to that spin-off... >_<;; wooo... so much things...
question though... is my rambling that entertaining to ppl? I mean, it is nice to see ppl read all this, but kinda funny... well... many words I will uses later on might not make sense since it's in japanese.. mata ne...

today wasn't much to talk about... *sighs* it's an array again... I asked my mom something and she says... 'Tao làm sao biết!' She been ignoring me for a long time now, and I really am not bother by that attitude of her one bit. *shrugs* whatever she feels like doing... Been 2 days now... I didn't come on last night to talk to T, and I really don't know if T's even on or not.
I just come home from shopping for clothes, and then just watches some TV... and my brother come home with KFC, hahahahaha... so we have KFC and watch I,My,Me! Strawberry Eggs... then we went on doing our own things... then I went on to watches Mahou Negima Sensei... it was funny but eps 7 and 9 doesn't work right... weird... but it was funny though, haven't have much fun when I think of T.
Oh, just watched 'Tale of the Two Sisters' it's a horror movie... pretty cool... ohh... snippy snippy... got my hair trim yesterday... now I got it all spiky again... XD some dumb guy IMing me and call me babe and other one call me em... WTF?! buncha perverted azsholes... I'm sick and tire of ppl IMing me and talk about nothing but nonsense... and one of em says I'm khó tính... I mean, what kind of moron keep on saying stupid things when ppl told him to knock it off? mataku... baka...
You know? Life is hard and you can either face it and move on, or just run away from it. Just take sometimes... think things over, and figure out a way to solve the problem you're given. Me? hmm... I'm still running away from it... but I needed a lot of times to think things through... to try and be strong to face it bravely... It's just that I can't take it, I seriously wanted to drop everything and leave it all behind. But that would be running away from things... so I must stay and fight... think, grow, and mature to solve it all... for now? I'm just trying to figure out where I stand in this whole mess I'm facing... just hope to shed some light on it and maybe solve it quick... cuz my mind is losing it... ja ne...

T was on last night, but I didn't IMing T... wanna see if T gonna IM me or not. either way, I logged off fast so it doesn't matter. left the guild on GW, and now the leader think i'm an azs... lovely eh? i left cuz i can't get any help or answers to my dam questions... they all just ignored me, and so i feel left out then i left... shyt.. baka...


I want my goddam Lynx!!!! dammit... went with a group, they kill the thing before I would even charm it... sob... so mean of them.. Y_Y and my wrist is killing me... T_T ite..ite..ite.. kaaa... so much pain... I lost my stalker to the tammer so now I want my Lynx... sooo... gotta go at it again tonight to get my Lynx so I can lv em up... ho-boy... this will be very hectic indeed...
oh.. someone told me to change a title from 'Darkness no Ojisama' to 'Yama no Ojisama' ... so wrong... to change from... 'Prince of Darkness' to 'Prince of Mountain' T_T so very wrong.... oh... just checking my mail? and guess what? kaaaaaa.... >_< got a comment from a fan, wanning to know what happen next... XD so happy to have someone wanting to know what happen next to the story... kinda encouraging and all that...
Just hate it when ppl put comment on the piece you work on but totally had nothing to do with the piece... bleh.. >_< this one actually says she can't wait to see what happen next... hahaaa... actually, I don't know what happen next myself... XD cuz I don't plan it out ahead of time when I writes... haha...
maybe I'll update it today if I can come up with anything at all, or just have to wait 'til I can come up with something... XD ain't it cool or what? even the author have no clue on what will happen next to the story itself... but I like to work that way, cuz it have more of a sense of mystery to it... just make you wanna writes more to see how far you can take everyone in the story until you reaches its end... hahahaha...
when I first started writing, my basic main character is guy... but after reading so many dam story that guys are the hero kinda lame... so I changed my style to making a heroin instead of the hero, and also ground the story itself down more.. less fantasy, anime style, and up in the air... although I might make 'The Elementalists' a martial arts action pack... hahaha...
one time I got an email from someone in a group I'm in? correcting my grammar on my poem that I put on there... man, so corny... talking about adj. and noun shouldn't be mix together like that... pathetically, I don't really care about it cuz I only writes how it come to me... I don't fixes it unless I misspell it or something...
now?! *thinking* hmmm... I'm trying to focus on 'Onegai Love' trying to finshes it up... yet I now spend more time working on 'Dawn of Assassins' than 'Onegai Love' ... Y_Y but those two stories are my main focus right now... 'The Elementalists, Little Did She Know 1&2' etc... will come later once these two are done with... hahaha.. don't know when I'll be done with it.. since I still have to go back to work on 'Devil Inside-.5 chapter, Trackers-1.5 chapter, Kiss of Death-1.5 chapter, Ordinary Yet Unordinary-13.5 chapters, and Hunters-1.5 stories... etc...'
well, that's all for now... mata ne...

Got my lynxy.. woot... yay... wooohooo... 'so, what would you do if I told you I'm pregnant?!' '..............' 'huh?' 'completely speechless?' 'lol' and that's my conversation with my friend... i just hope it's not real.. cuz it be very goddam scary if it is for real...
oh, i'm back to the guild again... great isn't it? only problem is that i still don't get the help i needed, even though he told me he be helping me out... instead? he go to sleep after he done his quest... hahahaha... so fock up... that's like the reason i left his guild in the first place... oh what the heck.. i give up... don't give a shyt about it anymore... just running around to lv up my lynxy and head back to crystal desert and get my butt kill again... yup.. been having like 116 deaths...
maye i'll just turn off the guild chat then i don't have to bother about the guild. he begged me to come back, i come back only to face the same stupid problem that causes me to leave in the first place. don't give a dam about it anyway... now i just run with anyone who ask me to join up with em... just wanna explore the world, i'll reach lv 20 sometimes... so i don't give a rat azs about it anyway... maybe i'll start a new character then... and gonna make her a monk... hahaha... be cool.. m/r... read the maual first though... but i gotta get my homeworks done tomorrow.. then test on monday... bleh...
wonder if i should help ppl out when i can't get any help... it just lame that he wanted me to help him out on his second character, while i get no help at all... moooo... *sighs* i'll just have to work on my monk tonight and forget about the guild and junk... just worry about me... hehehe... just have to wait and see, cuz i might not pick a monk... can't use attack power but healing only is kinda lame... bleh.. >_<
well, ja ne...

ok.. i find that some words just strange... like dozo... or dozou yoroshiku... weird.. i thought it be dozo yoroshiku... *shrugs* one might never know... anywho... haven't talk to T for like couple oh days now... and i really don't know what to say either Y_Y i mean we missed each other and all that, but not sure if T actually missed me if T got someone close to be with... or more like T in love with that person again.. oi vey... mataku... T can't stop falling in love over and over again, even though T knows too well that it hurt everytime things go wrong in the relationship... *sighs*
T doesn't want me to leave T, but one oh these day T will be the one leaving me... maybe next year, if my friend gets married... i would have to leave T for a long persiod of time... cuz i gotta go to his wedding... then seeing how things go for me and my onee-chan... her health issues is scaring me... and we don't talk much unless it something dire... if things goes well between us? i might end up going to her homeland... alone with her and her bf... maybe, just maybe... if i can make a living over there? i might move there for good...
but those are just thoughts... now i worry about paying for fall classes... going to work, school, and do my homework to pass my darn class. *slumps* so bore... got no one to talk to about my problems... not that they can listen to me... only a friend in germany do i talk to, but mostly the baka talks about himself... so i listen to him... like i always do with others... >_<;; mataku...
ohh.. talking about next summer... *ponders* me gotta get me license to... XD so much to think about... take class and hoping to pass, then me got the license... woooo... then me can get me little moto... hahaha... :laughing: well, mata ne...
if any oh ya wanna share ya problems... jump on in.. ya more than welcome to, me promise me will listen.. XD


moooo.... neko-chan is being a brat again... she comes up at 10pm her time, which is midnight my time... Y_Y and I was watching Uta~Kata... it was a good anime... :3 it was lovely... haaaa.... *eyes become all glitters* the art is awesome, and it is also from the same creator as kiddy grade.. kawaii.......... they all look oh so purty... sugoi ne...
now I'm waiting for Air to be done, since it only at 30% I think... also I have to get DAQ too... Y_Y wahhhh.... T_T ja...

ok... talk to T, yesh.. talk to T... thank god, everything is all good for us... but I just got no clue what to talk about anymore... haven't got anything else to talk about anymore... *sighs* huh...
me played GW last night, make a new char... ^.^ a ranger/mesmer... so far, I'm a lv 4 and died 2x, which good... cuz normally I be dead ages... kaaaa... >.< been update for next part of the story yesterday... so gooddam screw up... >.< kaaa.... oh well, two girls, one room... hmm.... *wicked smiles* muwahahaha...

yosh... yesh, update it again yesterday on my site and also changes the background again... T is not on last night, but doesn't matter anyway... Oh yeah, me was on GW last night to lv up my r/me? kaaa... >_< met this one person who is a r/nec ... omg... bad combo... a lv 5... but died so fast... bleh... i'm a lv 6 and i help that person out and that person got to lv 6... hahaha.. cool huh? anywayz... says like my cape.. cuz i'm in a guild that's why i got the cape... luckily.. one of the offs is on, so i talked to him and asked him to invite that person in... complete new player to the game... can't call em noobs... only call jackazs ppl noobs... hahaha...
i was in pre-searing, so that how we met... it was funny... we go and go... and ended up going the wrong way... so lucky i also got a quest that way, and i got my things.. then we head back the right way and finish that one up too... cool huh? then i go to bed, cuz it was like after midnight... XD it was fun... we both trying to complete all the quests there is before heading off to searing... but man, that person asked a whole bunch of questions that would take forever to answers.. but I'm doing my best to answer, cuz i have been in the same boat as that person...
i'm helping that person out, cuz that person is a new mem. in our guild... and new to the game like i am... so i don't want to make that person feel left out like i was feeling since i joined the guild... though i do hope to be an off too... so if i run into nice friendly ppl, i can invite them in without making a fuss about it with other offs while they busy doing a co-op junk they doing... and i can also run around helping out lower lv players... doesn't matter if they in the guild or just someone needing help...
it sux to know the guy who come in after me gets to be an off and i don't... but he lv 20... and the guild leader plays with him more than me... actually the guild leader help him out more than he help me... ain't it mess up? mostly the offs are to help out lower lv guild members on things... not just doing their own quests and turn off the guild chat so that they not bother by the mem's request for help... i turned off cuz some them mems talk shyt... and i don't like it...
sadly, i'm not an off and i help out more than they do... so wrong there... they help u out on ez stuffs.. but when u get to the hardest part in the game, they be like don't ask for my help on that place... ain't it nice? that's just so BS .... then they be like calm down... fock that shyt... how u calm down if u died like 5x in a row? how u calm down if they lv20 and died way before u did? how u calm down if they just says that u have to do it over and over and over til u got ur skill slots right? i got my skill slots just like how i wanted it to be... if they don't wanna help, just say so... i can always find someone else to work with and died with... least they trying to get it done...
i'm staying quiet and let lotsa things go by... as i told the leader before... if i shut up, things just find... but if i speaks up for anthing, nothing is being done about it anyway... pointless to even try to change things when the higher up ppl don't care... it kinda like they help anyone in the guild but me, i feel like i'm being prejudice in that guild... seriously... like when the leader is on, he talked to everyone but me... even though i says hi to him just like everyone who's on that moment... but if i left the guild, he be thinking i'm being unfair by not giving the guild a chance to help me out... i did, but i got none... so what's the point of me staying?
i was being too dam nice and i come back, hoping to change things a little... but nothing has changed since i come back... nothing....... i got ppl asking for stuffs and no one even help out, i'm only one help out on it... and i still get criticize for not helping out other mems... wtf is that?! if i help them out, do i have to shout out to u to let u know i'm helping them out? no? so fock it!!! i did most of the quests i got on my map by myself, cuz it is done with other ppl and not you guys... so fock up about me not helping other mems out... cuz no one actually take the time to help me... so why the fock should i help em?
when u asked me if i needed help on that mish? i already did, so i told u i did it already... but when i asked for help on another quest.. u ain't answering.. so shut the hell up... then u tell me that my quest map is all messed up and it's not in order.. well, hello?! i go with other ppl, how you expect me to get the things in order? so if u can't help me in the order it should be, then shut ur mouth about my screw up map... I'm at the lv i'm at today is not because of u guys.. but because of my goddam hard time questing with strangers... so don't go i should help u guys out when u work on ur new char(s) ...
i would readily help out anyone in the guild if u guys didn't ignore me since i joined up... so i only help out the one i actually have to asked u guys to invite cuz i'm not an off... that's it.... other ppl should learn to work their azs off to get to my lv like i did... just cuz u got someone high lv with u doesn't mean u can run into any fight and expect to win... that's arrogant and ignorance... and i don't tolerate that kind of attitude when u questing with me... u quest with me? focus on ur quest and get it done, and if u wanna die? die by urself.. don't drags other ppl down with u, just cuz u being stupid...
well, tonight i'm gonna have some fun with my new mem... the one i actually like to help out in my group... hahaha.. ja ne...

omg.... O.o I'm soooo tire.... -.- *yawns* slept at 2 in the morning again.. Y_Y talking to neko-can... is so not helping... i was thinking of neko stew, but it was late and i'm tire... so have to put it back... hahaha... maybe tonight then... *smirks*
yesh, i'm an off now... muwahaha... but wateva... me don't care... me was kidding but he took it seriously and make me an off ... O.o;; oh, it was funny last night... cuz me older brother trying to figure out how me playing GW, hahaha... he trying to learn so he can play too... >_<;; oh, me sear with the gl (guild leader) last night, cuz Red took too dam long... then gl have to go back on other char to sear with red... so funny cuz gl have no idea where to get this one mish for his ranger so he could get the skills.. hahaha... it was halarious... =))
so now me got a lv18 W/R, lv 7 R/Me, lv 2 W/N, and a lv 3 R/N me think... not sure.. bleh... XP so me now have 2 unsear chars to work on.. hahaha... mooo... -.- *sighs*
anywayz... me working on Darkness no Ojisama... hahaha... have ta writes it on papers... XP and my just update on me site on the next part of the lil story me did a while back... trying to finishes soon and will put Darkness no Ojisama (Prince of Darkness) on after me Dawn of Assassins is done... *grins* muwahahaha... >:)
me already started out on it, just a bit eery to it... *laughing maniacally* wahahahaha... a nice, but dark setting is best fit with the title... :->
well, ja ne...

ok... neko-chan kinda wear me out today... =.= *yawns* neko-chan got so ecchi lately...
I was working on my story when neko-chan pops up and asking if it's ok to talk to me for a little bit... i thought a little bit wouldn't help and says it's ok... never thought it stretches out til 2 in the morning... *yawns* -.-. though while talking to neko-chan, i did get over a page of words done... XD but neko-chan's ecchiness distracts me from my work... n_n;; it's just that being tackled everytime we meet gets a bit too much for my aching body to handle... u_u ... but neko-chan decided to play a fun game with me... making it so interesting that i just can't say no... *grins* yeah, but i won't tell you about it...
anyway, been weird lately.. no matter what time i went to sleep... i always ended up waking up at same time every morning... 7:45 am... =.=* i just hate getting up that early... just don't know why, it's been like that for more than 3 weeks now.. shoot...
oh, i got a dream this morning... was driving in my car and almost got bumped by the guy driving behind me... ^.^;; i finally stops my car to try and talk to him, suddenly my car slips away and run at like 1 mph... but i can't seems to catch up to it... is it because it runs down the hill? got some ppl i regconized trying to help me out... hahaha... we run passed the pile of horses sleeping.. and i was asking should we ride a horse to catch up? but one guy told me that they looks pretty dead... so i turn on the water hose and spray the water all over the horses... ^.^;; then we get back to running in chasing after my car...
everything else is a blank cuz i have to get up for work... T_T now i kinda wonder if i ever get my car back, waaahhhh... hic.. hic... dammit all... well that's all for today... ja..

ok... don't know what happen to T or anyone else... just bleh... anyway, it been like a very very long time now.. suddenly we met again yesterday... the guy with the saiyanman nick... hahaha... I almost forgot about it... maryland boy, been broke up with his now ex-gf for over 7 months now... but why complain to me? seriously, I hardly know about his daily life... so what's the point in telling me about it? bah...
ohhh... we did tons of run last night, it was funny and dumb... hahaha... I also get to watch the the two necros doing the sync dance... my word.. it was AWESOME!!!! and I was like playing drums while GM plays flute then he changes to guitar... hahaha... cuz I was going away to take a shower...
we did GvG last night and died badly...bah... lata...


ok... mừng bỏ má luôn... my sweet demoness finally write me something... so happy... yay... then my wuv on last night.. we had a little talk... then me go to bed cuz it like 2 am and me getting very tire... -.-
but now i misses my lovely ladies... cuz guys are just buncha perv and azs... plenty of baka... sometimes just wish them to stfu... another baka trying to be friend with me last night.. from vn, totally don't give a rat ass about it... cuz i was editing my papers... so didn't really talk that much... somehow me hate talking to guys.. they so boring like a bitch...
played GW last night.. omg... i give away the shields and weapons... feels good.. it was like almost nax def shields... and very good weapons... woot... me and witch help this dude or guy to get to lion's arch... he only lv 9... but we manage to got him to shiverpeaks, then i have to get off to wait for my wuv... witch leads the way and i do the hacking and chopping... found another rune... shyt, now i'm having like 8 runes... no clue what to do with it... bleh... probably giving it away again... since it's nec and mes runes.. i got no use for it...like i'm a rune collector... ohh... i got a gold item on sunday.. woot.. woot... so dam lucky of me...
21 dmg long shocking sword.. one more point and it max gold weap. sword dmg... hahaha... gold are like rarest... so i'm so dam lucky... for once... so been on killing spree... looking for some drops to make some money...
oh, got a kid paying me like 450g for the shield.. but i give him for 300... cuz the shield have like 12 def... just 4 point from max def... normally it be sell for at least 750g or more... but i take 300g instead of the price he willing to paid... i'm broke, but i don't need to rip off from lower lv... cuz ppl trying to rip me off when i'm low lv... so now i'm not doing what was being done to me by other...
but if i find more good shields and weapons... i'll sell it for low price to lower lv can afford, and keep themselves from getting kill every 5-15 mins in the missions/ quests...i love doing killing spree and get drops... and money.. woot... ja ne...


hết chuyện nói rồi man... my aching back is killing me... need to find a mushy chair to sit in while playing game.. >_< oh yeah, got to lv 20 last night.. and did most the mish on ascension... muwahahahaha.... now me gotta work with me guild to get to dragon's lair and we all good to set kill there... yup, yup... lucky dog last night.. got 2 major monk runes last night doing run like mad... give it all to GM, and pillz got friggin mad... hahaha... he lv 20 monky... he don't need it... GM is a lv 7 monky.. he needs tons of protection for the later mish... so he can't be jealous if I'm giving it to GM...
I also resest my skills to all warrior's skills.. cuz the pet is useless and costed me to be unable to uses my skills as soon as the pet died... >_< i'm like 127 deathes when i started last night and when i get off.. i got 177 deathes... and what is cool is that i didn't throw any tentrum during the 4 hours period of dying like crazy playing last night... we also got 2 new members while doing our quests... hahaha.. funny as hell... only me and other new member are warriors in the team... pillz is a monk, GM is an ele, other new member is a rangy... and another guy who is a rangy too... funny as hell.. and none of us got any pet with us... hahaha...
now i got 10 runes in my bag, excluding the 2 i give to GM and 1 i screwed up using a reg salvy kit... baka of me...
Oh we did a gvg before we do the ascension... we died like mad, cuz the other team is like gvg geek or something... we have mostly max dmg weapons and still can't do much dmg to them.. so we lose the fight... but we did a different type of battle, still gvg... we kick their azses... hahaha... so funny is that they died and didn't get rez back for so long some of them getting mad... it so funny we toyed with them about wanning to play with em... but the rest of em won't come out to play with us... muwahahaha... but we got into their fortress and kill em all... buwahahahaha.... then to cheers on to our first victory in a long time... pillz give out dwarves ale to us... ugh... it make me sick cuz it got me so drunk that everything is all woozy.... @_$ ackk... i didn't know, so i drank all 5 of em... and oh-boy was it ever a bad idea to do it... i couldn't see where i was going.. hahahahahahaha....
oh, just update my site today... finish the story yesterday and today is a start to the new one... let see if i feel like continue on working on this new story or not... cuz i also have to work on a new one, then send it to my sakura-chan... my wuv... *blushes* and see how things go for us... hopefully it will be good... just that sakura-chan kinda screw things up pretty good... bleh... well, hết chuyện nói rùi... buh-bai nhe? ghé lại khi khác đọc tiếp hén?

ok... just read something from someone about 'WHY?!' *blinks* seriously, why ask why on love? it will never makes any senses or give you an exact answer... believe me... love is something that made or break you... all up to how well you take it... that's a quote from my friend... not really called him a friend cuz we hardly talk... only look for me when he got no one to talk to, or having problem with girls... omg.. buncha weirdos...
but if saying that love can either made or break is very much true to it... mostly love break me more than made me... just likeT, break my heart when T is being down and depressed and all that... I'm just like a guiding person for T, until T can find that special someone... which is happening right now... then I am no longer needed by T for talking to about things... then I will let go of T for good... moving on, but I know my heart to break because of it... but it will heal in time...
I know I am a very complicated person, and not easy to be with... but I've been pretty layback... just hope no dumb morons run into me wanning to date me and all that jack up stuffs... I rather chose to be a prince instead of a princess waiting for a prince to rescue me... I rather hold someone in my arms than being hold in someone else's arms... It is my nature, but I truly do not like to be hugged or touches in any ways... I'm just one strange person, you know?
it's like i'm a person that needs constant luv and attention... but at the same time.. i also gives that person constant luv and attention as well... it's all a fair trade, i guess... but it's not easy like it is says... to be able to find someone that can give you constant attention and luv is like looking for a needle in a hay stack... since we all have things we need to do, so we can't always give each other the full attention we all wanted from the person we love...
one time, we fight with this cutey about it... it's frustrating when we hardly talk to each other because of our time diffs... but we managed to pull it through and now we kinda drift apart because of me.... just been tire and don't really feel like talking the that person much anymore... not like i used to... I can talk to that person til next day... all night long... but now, I gets tire and just told that person i am tire and going to bed... we're just not hot and heavy like back then anymore...
hopefully tonight, I'll give it a shot and make it hot and heavy like we are back then... i think it's because i begins to lack in emotions since i've been working on a couple of stories at same time... so all my emotions and energy been put in the work instead of focusing on our relation...
well, i'm getting tired and hoping to stay awake all day... or not... then just maybe i'll stay on and talk to that sweet person from can... yesh... the person i just mention on the paragraph above is from can... we are just very hot and heavy way back.. but not recently... hardly flaming... so not hot and heavy anymore... see ya...

ok... no fun going on.. come back from dentist.. omg... i feel like my face swollen... Y_Y then went on to update my story on my site.. hahaha... only 6 paragraphs this time... don't feel so good and lazy anyway...
neko-chan pops up to bother me... hahaha... it ok though... talk about nonsense.. yup.. nothing makes senses when talk to neko-chan... *grins* show me some oh her nice pixies... *drools* sugoi ne.... i think i just found my artist for my works... muwahahahaha... but i'm a bit abusive on that issue.. hahaha.. she don't mind if it's me... *smirks* ummm... what else... talking about thigh and pixies... hahaha...
i teased her about the thigh part... muwahahaha... then she strike a pose just for me... *grins* bad neko-chan... muwahahaha... ja ne... nothing else to talk about now...

ok... seriously... do ppl really read what i wrote down here? hmm... oh what the hell... spill it out then, right? anyway, i found that trying to fall in love is kinda... umm.. how do you put it? stupid... which wasn't the reason i write today... er.. or was it? hmm... i don't know either... hahaha... sad to be me...
either way, as i was saying, trying to fall in love is stupid... not that i can fall in love mind you... i was kind of like testing things out, mainly to get the feel on it in order to put it down in my work... which is my story that is written in english... vietnamese don't work out well for me, since it's all like mumble jumbo to me... that's why this is not being written in vietnamese... you would say... imagine that... anyway, been a little edgy lately... and when i writes with a friend... mind you, we're pararping... so don't get any dirty thought in your brain... well, some of the words that are being used... i have to look up the dictionary.. thank her grace that i have one at my foot at all time when i'm on my comp at home... this is my older brother's lappy...
originally? it was my lappy... but he uses it more than i do, and he tend to keep it in his room... so i can't uses it when i needed to... kinda tick you off... so it's his now... also have a small handy dictionary besides me, but the thing don't have enough words... can't find half the dam wordsi'm looking for on it... so i prefer to work on my things at home...
well, i think that the lacking in relationship kinda screw up my romance in the story... it's like a dvd with glitches when you watches to the romantic part... well, that's not the point anyway... the point is that... wait... what is the point?! ahhh... i'm losing it again... oh well, as i was saying...
when i started to write, mainly the main character are basically guy... and he's the hero in the story... got a lovely girl in the end.. but after a while... it get dull, you know? i'm like 'why the hell does it have to be a guy anyway?' so, screw that type of writing and i begins anew with female main characters instead... then i think for a while... i went insane... because it so hard to make her a hero and falling in love at same time... i thihk i was losing my mind at that point... oh well... so i stopped writing for almost a year... but not completely during that time... mainly because i didn't focus on my story(ies), though i did fosu more on my poetry... which is pretty dark and pessimestic... not sure how it spell... and really don't care anyway...
either way, back to the loving issue... ah.. yes... never been in love and don't really know how to tell when you're in love or not either... just don't ask... ok? i prefer not to fall in love, that's all... mainly, i might fall in love with a pretty girl who loves me for me... but that's just insane thought.. wishful thoughts i might add.... mainly now i have a couple of friends to torture me enough to figure out that love is like loving your friends... feeling the pain they put you through and all the good stuffs... bah...
so i finally am back on track and writing all over again... hah.. amusing isn't it? now i'm making it crazier than before... hahahaha.... before is like girl fall in love with guys... natural... all that junk.. but now i'm breaking all the rules and bring on the new light to my style... now, i have shoujo ai... or in clear plain english.... girl on girl... and i might make a story with guy on guy... muwahahahaha... see? i'm going insane, i know.. but it is a wonderful feeling now that i am no longer bound to that supid rule of male/female relationship only...
my teacher even says that i'm being beyond the point of 'logical' when it comes to writing... my works are just illogic.... cuz when i writes... it is my world.. and i am the creator, destroyer... etc... but the story itself will take its own course as i go... i don't outline it, plot it, come up with an ending before starting it... it just come as i go along... so that makes it i am too just part of the story itself... but hey, it's all cool with me... so now i no need to try and fall in love...
now i need to find someone who can cook if that person wanna love me.. ya need to know how to cook... cuz i don't... hehehe... i can burn the kitchen, but i don't know how to cook... lata laz and gentz...

weee.... i'm in love, i'm insane... mainly i think i'm insane rather than in love...i'm in love, i'm in pain.. i think i'm in pain though... it's like ppl asking you to help solve their problem, when you have your own to solve... Y_Y saw T on last night... didn't wanna talk to see if T gonna IM me or not... *sighs* i guess not then.. didn't IM me, but at least I know that T doesn't need me no more...
and you have no idea how it hurt.... so bad... if my heart is made of glass, it is shattered to pieces... tiny pieces that it become impossible to put it back together... but whatever right? i'll get over it sooner or later... though i hope it be sooner... well, now i have too much love to give away.. wonder who the next one will need my love and attention? only to break my heart again.... *sighs* just the cycle of being a pillar for someone to turn to when things get rough for them...
well, i still have neko-chan... and my sweet demoness... only IM with neko-chan.. and emailing with demoness... i feel content enough now... being love and luv em back... but it still there, you know? it stills hurt when i saw T's sn on the list... i'm torn and tattered... because of one single person... well, not like anything would help... either way... me gonna get on GW tonight to help out a guildies for a little bit, hoping to get more money... the finish up my piece of plates...
well, mum's home... not that it matters much... we not on speaking term.. so pheh... not to mention i been down lately.. don't feel so good and always tire and stress out somehow... T? maybe.. don't know... might be cuz of T... maybe something else that I don't know about or my mind is a having a delima of deciding if i like this person or that person.. which kind of gen i like best? or interest in... gahhhhhhh.... so frustrated.....

ok.. today's topic is guys are BAKA!!! why do I always have dumbazs ppl emailing me? seriously, the guy name is anh tu... sounds like a girl's name... he email to me in nothing but viet... and ah can't read em without the marks and all that... just check my mail this morning... damn bastard says who do I think I am? I'm not all high and mighty and shyt... he thinks that I ain't got no friends cuz my attitude... well, F*CK HIM!!! and I only told him I'm not easy to be with, so if he think he can handle it then he welcome to try and be my friend... but if he think of trying to be my bf, he should go somewhere else... cuz I ain't need no bf... well, that's what you get for being so damn straight forwards and shyt... believe me... I'm nice and polite and all, but he being a b*tch about it... and I hate when ppl email me and the letter is all in CAPLOCK (like that) AZSHOLE!!! well, that gets out... feel better now...

ok... today's topic is why the HELL did some moron told me to write an essay?! It's endless I tell ya, one moron after another... I mean, why the HELL would you go into someone's site, read their stuffs and comment 'write an essay would ya? lol' What kind of F*CKING mess up mind you have?! damn... gawd, I'm cursing again... but what the hell... if it makes my day better by taking it all out in this page, then I couldn't care less of what ppl think (y'all read this)
oh, GM is having a job inter today.. I hope he gets the job.. otherwise he be having $50 in his pocket... and that's bad... cuz having him saying it over and over again getting on my nerve.. hahaha... although his voice sounds like my old out of contact buddy.... Y_Y waaaahhhh... I misses him so much, been like 2 years now... waaahhhhh.... TT_TT
oh got this girl, we was like talking.. all of sudden she went beep..... then that it... WTF is that?! omfg... I hate it when ppl do that to me, but if it's neko-chan... then it's forgivable... know why? cuz either her pc act up, sis pulled on the damn plug, or mom get on her case...
I sleep like at 1 in the morning... wake up at 7 in the morning... omg... =.= so damn evil... can't sleep... now I'm a little out of it... hoping to have some good news... or I'm gonna be very grouchy today...
guess what? woot... my R/Ele... lv7 in pre-sear.. woot... she got like 500g now... muwahahahaha... making money... I think I haven't did the apple quest yet... and the across the northern wall is a b*tch... lv8 charrs... f*ck that... but I ain't going to sear her just yet... I'm gonna make some more money... wahahaha... got a melanrud thingy... but I give it to the tamer.. and get me a wolfy... then I spot a rabby.. man, now I want a rabby instead.. wanning to see it it bites ppl and give em rabbies or not... hahaha... but lvling it up is a pain in the azs... it's a lv1 rabby.. TT_TT there's no way I'm going to lvl that thing up to lv6 where my wolfy is right now... hell no... after her...
I'm gonna work on my W/N... she gonna uses hamma and axy... yup... gonna have a ga using a hammy and wack all the guys up there... show em that ga can kill em up good too... muwahahahaha.... *cough, cough* but maybe I just farm my W/R tonight to get the last piece of armor for him... it's like: 85,85,85,55,85.... =.= that's just so wrong there... his legging is only 55 def... holy f*cking cow!!! O.o;; he have like: platemail head, chest, wyvern gloves, leggings, and boots... o.o;;
he's only one lv20 right now, my R/Me is at lv10... I think... and I have name for them too... wahahahaha... let see.... Kyle Glaze: W/R lv20, Yami no Hime: R/Me lv10, Dancing Hime: R/Ele lv7, and Hibiki Amawa W/N lv2?! (not sure on this one)...
O.o oh... yeah the story on here... hahaha... forgot about it... been lazy and busy with working on my W/R, R/Ele... I might put up next part to 'Moon Flower' been dying to do it... but haven't got the time to work on it... having that title stuffed in the back of my brain for a long time now... now I can make it happens.. though not quite how I wanted back then.. but this one be much better.. hahaha... the other stories on here? hmm... the ' Ái Tình Lộn Xộn '?! dunno if it gonna be finish like that or should I add more... so confusing on it too... hahaha... yeah some kind of writer I am... ' Tình Xa '?! hmm... dunno either... hahaha... 'Hoa`ng Tử Bạch Mã '?! O.o;; that is just something to amuse ppl by... but I think I'll focuse on 'Moon Flower' though I don't have plot or anything for it yet... nope... ain't got none til I begins to writes the next scene to it... ain't it weird? I'm not creative until I begins to put it down in words... and I also have to work on the update for my site too.. yesh... >_<;; so much works, yet so little time... ^.^;; on my site is 'Darkness no Ojisama' got someone corrected me on putting it 'Yami no Ojisama' instead... now why the hell would I wanna do that?! dumbazs... =.=* well, I have to post next part to 'moon flower' and next part to ('darkness no ojisama' = 'prince of darkness') lata...

today's topic is woot woot... hahaha... 6 more days baby... YEAH!!!! yeah.... finally got me last piece of armor for me W/R last night... woot woot.... or just woooohooooo.... hahahaha... now I have to get him reinfused again... TT_TT dammit... but I'm working on my W/N? she got to lv6 now.... muwahahahaha... got a good hammy... and axy.... but she bad cuz she died 4x already... while my R/Ele only died like 2x though the W/R is like 378x.... and the R/Me? about 12x or less... not sure...
the w/n have like 400g... hahahaha... ^.^ but the one in post-sear are completely broke... ^.^;; omg... that's just weird, right? who knows...
last night me talking to this kid that me haven't talked to in ages... told me she did a lot of writing, i asked how much... 2 books and 3 short stories... and 3 poems... ^.^;; while I have over 100 poems, 21 actual working stories with 9 completed... see? handful I tell ya.. handful.... that exclude the 3 stories I lost... cuz of disk complication.... TT_TT and also other titles that's just titles with no words putting into it yet... it's short today.. got nothing to complain about... only my neko-chan signs on and off... dammit... -.-* but we did manages to start a new story together... wahahhaha... now she have to post tonight.. hahahaha... weeee... I'm not high mind-you... just a bit hyper... from the morning sugar... lata...kitties and puppies?! O.o;; sounds weird.. but hey.. I love kitties and puppies.. girls are kitties, and guys are puppies... aite? chao...

KUSO!!!! my title is already been copyrighted by ADVfilms... O.O ahhhh... dammit!!! now I have to find a better title... kuso... anyway, looking at 'brides of darkness, or child of darkness' >.<;; gahhh... can't figure out which one... and so..=.=... my work on it is to be put on hold... =.=*
anyway, seared my w/n last night.. TT_TT she only lv6... dammit.. so low... but woohooo... when me and another guy go to sear... we KICK AZS!!! hahahaha... but then i have to get off, she got like 900g when she sear... wahahaha... getting off cuz my neko-chan might be on and kill me if me not on... hehehe... we almost fight last night... just cuz i don't feel quite well.. or was it her way of making things worse than it already was? hmmm...
whatever the causes.. we kiss and make up... and we have a good time... though i'm sweepy and tire like hell... kuso... >_<;; well, ja ne...

Today's topic..... just send a letter to my luv today... and no it wasn't T. haven't talk to T in forever now... T haven't been on in a long time now, so don't know if our friendship gonna last or not.
wooohoooo.... yeeee hawwww... got infused with my W/R, beath the dam ironmines thingy too... but forgot to bring a DAMN cap to cap the rangy skill... KUSO!!! i have to do it again... also got some nice hammies for my baby... yup... my W/N wahahahhaha... also got my R/Ele to grendith courthouse... woooo... got the phoenix skill, and other fire skillz.... hahahaha... murdering time.... the charrs shall feel me wrath!!! still need one more fur square hide to get me final piece of armor for me W/N ascalon armors BABY!!! YEAH!!!
Let see... W/R - lv20 w/Platemail armors, R/Me - lv11 w/Drak scale armors, W/N - lv8 w/ascalon armors, and R/Ele - lv8 w/leather armors (yet to change the armors)... such a pain in the azs...
oh, got my story resume... yesh... ain't it nice? things get a little bumpy cuz I'm kinda dunno what to do... wahahaha... lata my kitties and puppies... *runs off*

today's topic is NOOOO!!! and YES!!! dammit... anyway, finally T was on last night... yeppie!!! and nuuu.. >_< that sonofabitch cheated on T... dammit all... X( but I still luv T, cuz I just do and I care a lot about it. How could someone go and cheat on my T?! How DARE they?! *shakes fist* but I wuv T nonetheless....
YAY!!! me is now 22 today... hahaha... T was second but first one to say happy b-day to me... aww... I feel love.... XD so me going out for dinner with me family tonight... woohooo... gonna get me some alcohol too... muwahahaha... heck nah... though lynny gonna buy me scooby snack and wet pussy.. XD what kind of drink name is that?! O.o holy cow!!!
Angel talking to me, it is so funny... wahahaha... Angel started out calling by my name... then love, and now honey.... rofl.... omg... from friend to lovers and now intimate... XD and we haven't done anything intimate yet... Angel told me Angel be on tomorrow... all day long, just for me... how ya like that? but I ain't gonna be on all day long... cuz I have ta work... but I'm sure Angel gonna be good and let me do something special for treat on my b-day... hahahaha... we gonna have some fun, baby!!!
soooo tire lately.... -.- *yawns* dunno why either... normally i don't sleep til after 1 or til 2 in the morning.. now it just past 12 for a little and my eyes closing on my... >_<;; keep on feeling so tire all the time... don't know what's wrong with me either... shoot!!! ack... i'm gonna get off now... sweepy and little hugry... see ya later my kitties and puppies... *waves and runs off*

weeeeeeeeeeeee..... XD hahaha... i make a monky last night... hahaha... man i asked for help and no one available to help me... cuz i don't like my r/me.... so i make a monky from her instead... muwahahaha... then i got some help... was having fun when gm asked me to help him... wth?! he went back and make a r/mo instead of keeping his r/n... baka... anyway, not that i care... cuz it's annoying...
well, then witch is going to FoW... wooo... asked if i wanna come.. hahaha... you kidding?! heck yeah!!! we come and did some... got a holy staff... insight staff.. and witch let me have the shadow bow... yay... :3 muwahahahaha... now i need to get a storm bow to get my bow collection looks good... muwahahaha... then maybe a good hammy for my baby w/n... the staff be going to my monky...
she's got no hair... which makes her looks all the hotter... she gonna be a monky ele... so i'll says she's a monkygeo.... now i have some ez quests left to do... then i'm done... i can do it by myself now... wahahaha... no longer needs help... not until after i sear that is... wahahaha... TT_TT i'm doom... i'm gonna focus on her from now on.. others have to wait... i have to get her ascend... so she can be at lv20 for pvp... pvp, and gvg needs at least 2-3 monkies... and she gunna be healing/protecting monky!!! yeah baby!!! muwahahahaha.... and she dances nice too... >_< so far she's a lv4 monky... and died 2x cuz of the cross the wall quest... all gm's fault... but before i sear her.. i wanna get her high up... and hoping to get some more dyes... i'm having 2 green dyes already... so hoping to get 3 more so i can dye her armors later on... then yellow too... so she be having 2 set of armors... wahahaha... that be HoT... don't ya think? yeah.. ya be like wateva...
oh... we did good in FoW.. only the damn ghost follow us and we couldn't get to him in time... that's how we died... or lose to be exact... we didn't died... we were defeated when the ghost died... damn stupid ghost... he shoulda stay where he is... that's why we didn't talk to him... X( BAKA ghost!!!
oh... and ppl need to stop calling me ' khó tính ' what are they? dumbazs?! can't you telling after reading someone's profile that they don't need a damn bf because they not looking for one?! my gawd... so many stupid ppl and so little time to chưởi them... for real, i find guys unattractive... and mainly perverted... and jackazs... i only fall for anyone or anything that's cute under my own definition... like i think tigy is cute... wolfy is cute... jp girls are cute... ppl with blue eyes got me... my Lucky baby is so cute... and annoying at same time... but i love him nonetheless...
Lucky is just sweet... he likes to cuddle up to me when i'm home from work.. likes to walks on my back... which tickles... and it's funny... he likes to stay on my back or my shoulder a lot... he's like my baby... but he's my sis-in-law's baby... still.. i love him... more than little kids... =.= ugh... hates kids... or ppl in general... well, that's all kitties and puppies.. ja ne...

Today's topic, NOOOO!!! WHY?!?!?!?! GM is going to disband our guild by the 19th of this month... TT_TT so now me and witch are working our azs off to recruit mature active players for pve,pvp,gvg, and willingness to help each other out, giving away things to those guildies who needs it not matter how rare it is. which me and witch are so damn qualified on that... he decided to disband cuz our co-founder/ support offs leave us yesterday. WTF is that?! he put so much effort in the guild only to pick up and leave us without a proper forewarning so we can have better preparation. If he did, we wouldn't be in this situation. @$%^*%$! bastard...
so now witch is the new offs in our guild, with the responsibility of helping me recruit new members to our guild. in the effort of saving our guild, another guy asked gm to promote him to offs so he can invite ppl easier... but what he don't get is that we can't all be offs because we want to invite ppl we been played with or know for a long time. you can just refer em to an offs and they'll be invited. cuz if everyone can be an offs so ez, there be chaos in this guild. and it's bad enough as it is already, we don't need anymore problems to add to our burden. I've already invited 2 ppl, in hope they don't bail out on me... and putting 2 on hold until tonight... then i'll decide whether they fit to join a guild that might get disband if we can't get things straighten out.
if they willing to risk the chance of joining a guild that might be disband because it is not making any progress... then they are welcome to join. if we truly can't make progress, at least I know I've tried my best... we still maintain our friendship, and those who helped me will be on my friend list. we will still hang out together and all that...
I know that I'm desperate to save the guild from disband, but it doesn't mean i'll just let anyone join without knowing them first. Our guild have everything but active members for gvg, and pvp... I'm also working on my monky to get her for gvg, and pvp. she's the base healer and protector... well, that's all for now... wish me luck in saving the guild... cuz I'm not joining another guild if this one is disband... ja ne...

today's topic... I'm tire and =.= very very tire... and so I seared my monky... yesh... i seared her... she got a green tattoo on her head.. muwahahaha... but i hate being helped by my guildies... they run off on me and aggro the damn fiends... I'm a monky for crying out loud dammit!!! I can't run like y'all do and I can't fend off the fiends you aggro... either!!! geezus fricking morons!!!
well, I'm gonna get her done tonight... get her from GNW to Ft. Ranik to Surmia to NA to BP to FG then have someone run me to Ft. Draknors to get my ULTIMATE armors... then get her to Kryta then Ascend her... KUSO!!!! this will be very challenging... TT_TT
Then I'ma gunno work on ma rangy ele... call her 'ranpyro', other one be 'warmancer', monky be 'mongeo', and my max warry will be 'wargy'... wuwahahahaha... die you imbeciles... ye shall feel me wrath!!! hahahaha... *cough, cough* maybe ah shouldn't laugh like that...
ehhh... neko-chan is camping... some weirdo IM at 1 in the morning... which I'm already offline and watching tennis no ojisama... while snuggling with Lucky... ^.^;; he loves me... ah nu it... cuz we cuddles.... then ah haveta put em back to bed... TT_TT... lil devil he is.... *smirks* but ah git him for myself tamorrow... so ah git ta tortar em... muwahahahaha... *cough, cough* gotta stop doing that... well, ja ne...

Today's topic is.... KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL!!! muwahahaha... *cough, cough* I am once again begins to hate my guild all over again. and guess who is causing it? Ditto... you got it... GM!!! I help him when he work on his monk in ascension... and help his ranger in pre-sear... WTF?! now all I asked for him to do is help me on my monk... since I am inexperience with the monk and the healing skills... He told me he help me once I sear, but when I seared... yeah... sonofabitch.... he told me my lv is too low and it's not good for me to get to Beacon's Perch just yet... I should do all the quests in Ascalon for now.... yeah... so he don't have to help me... but I insist on rushing her there in order to find someone to run her to Draknor Forge for her to get the spells she needs and better armors.
He helped for like 2 quests... and he's whining like a bitch! Seriously, if you don't wanna help... don't say you will when ppl asked you... I'm sick of hering him whining about shitty stuffs like that. Then he brags that he got to Draknor and got his armors... well, woopdiedo... ... him!!! He's only lv15.... and I'm lv11 when I got to Beacon's Perch, and he whines about not having money or better bows... WTF is that?! huh?! I don't get what I need... and I don't fucking whines when I'm broke... I don't whines when I don't have good stuffs...
He whines because he don't wanna do it again with me...wanna know why? cuz he been doing it too many times with all 4 of his chars on what I'm doing now... yay... ... that... I've been doing it more than he did... over 40x doing all that damn places... and I'm not whining... I helped ppl, working on my chars... delete and do it again... and NOT once did I says a ... about it! When he needs help, I come to help him... when he needs things and I have it? I give it to him, even when I'm broke like the day after xmas... but when me or someone in our guild needs help.. he ain't ... helping.. and pushes them to me... when they asked him something... he's like talk to KG, she'll explain it to you... I'm in middle of a mission and can't stop to type...
... that!!! like I'm not in middle of my own mission.... but I helped.... cuz they my guildies... I give things away to my guildies... even money... and I'm not saying anything about it, but he don't help anyone much and don't give money away... and he fucking complain that he's broke needs better weaps... and materials... he can just shutthefuckup!!! I asked him to help me, he pushes other ppl to help me... and 2 of em are of no help... cuz Vince went off on a killing spree and not following me... so I got killed... =.= Nate... is a tank and he runs way ahead to AGGRO every damn things in his path, leaving me behind him to get me azs picked on... =.=*
Then I sounds aggressive, and he says why I'm so moody... wouldn't you be moody too?! when you help anyone in your guild even when you hate doing that part... you still stick with them and help them... but when it's your turn for help... no one there to help u... so far only Shanked been with me throughout my ordeal of working from ascalon to shiverpeaks. I helped him ascended yesterday too, but he got headache and I told him to log off and rest up. cuz I don't wanna have him getting sick from trying to help us...
Shanked and Witch... I know I can count on them, but I can't count on GM.... cuz he ain't gonna help... he don't wanna help me anyway... and I'm fucking tire of it... he wanted us to help him run to Draknor... when I asked him that I be there to run once I'm done... cuz I'm doing Frost Gate... so I can't come... he's like 'well when you done, switch back to KG and come help me' what am I suppose to say? ... off?! cuz I'm in middle of my mission and you're not helping me so far...? so why don't you get someone to do it for you, and ... off?!
Maybe tonight, I'm gonna announce that I'm taking my leaving... which means I don't neccessarily leave the guild... but I won't answer to anyone in the guild, and I will help out whoever I feel like helping... I am tire of being thrown around by ppl... to help someone when they asked for someone else. I only asked for help because she's a monk... I wouldn't need to ask for help if it were my ranger or warrior... cuz they I can work on my own with henchies... but monk needs a lot of support, she's weak... have no strong offenses... and her defenses sux like hell... luckily Shanked didn't mind and went through the whole ordeal with her... his tank is greatly helping with only him, my monky and the henchy monky... and we make through it until Frost Gate, because we were careless of it.
Witch is working on his second char, once he seared.. which is maybe tonight... I'll use KG and gives his mesmer all the mesmer runes that I have... I was being nice, but not anymore... I'll let my demons out and let them do as they please, I'm sick of being nice... my demons wanna get out, so that I don't have to suffer like this... mata ne...

today's topic is... Why the FUCKING HELL there's so many dumbazs?! well, anyway... got my letter from my sweety yesterday... feel oh so happy... ^.^ yay!!! *runs around like an idiot* omg... I should've check my mail last night... then I don't have to be in bad mood today.. >_<;; shyt... how many dumbazs does it takes to realized that it is bad to date 2 girls at same time and lie to em, when they both love u truly? hm?! you know that there be one of em gonna get hurt... so pick the one you love the most... and tell the other one the truth... nothing but the whole dam truth... you sonofabitch...
put that on the side... cuz it dumb and stupid for me to try and help... ain't my biz... and i dun feel like f*ucking nice lately... just got my meds... so... weeeee.... *runs around again* i'm high when i take the meds... it's evil.... i tell ya.. eeeevvvvviiiiillllllllllllll..................
anywho... *hugs the letter* ^.^ i'm loved.... *blushes* i've read it at lest 5x now... >_<;; ain't ah crazy? hahahaha... well, i am anyway... so no bother... but T is not getting back with that sonofabitch... and been crying last night... TT_TT i love T too much... and it hurt me a bit... but not as much as it used to... maybe i'm not in love with T after all... hahahaha... but i think that i love T and is hurt when T is hurt is just mutaul things... love as a friend... not love as a lover... i hope that i'm not... that be so wrong if i do love T that way... >_<;; and T know that too...
well, me ain't god so me ain't give a dam about anyone's problem anymore... so there... y'all need to shut up and listen to what ah said... and what ah said is f*ck off and stop whining... grow up and stop being a baby... seriously... i don't need ppl to aggro me anymore than i already am.
and wow... someone's editing my dam posts... *ponders* hey.. this is our journal stuffs... so we have the right to says our feeling... why go and edit my stuffs?! can't ppl stop pissing me off for once? just cuz ah cuz doesn't mean y'all can go and edit my posts without me knowing... kuso!!! *cough, cough* bitchazs baka....
yay... i'm annouced my absent on helping anyone in the guild last night... no one give a shyt about it... hahaha... whatever... but soon i'm gonna annouce me leaving the guil permanately.... and won't come back... sick of em fockingazsholesonofabitchazs ppl... andiain'tgotnothingbettertodothanthis, sodon'tyagoandeditthisposttoo... ifyanowwhat'sgoodforya, justshutthefockupandleavemethehellalone.... don'tbeabitchazsk? cuziain'tgotnothingagainsty'allsoy'allbetterleavemebe. iain'tfockingplaingniceandy'allshouldknowbetter...wooohooo... (homersimpsonstyle) seeyabakaaroundeh? ;)aho...

today's topic is *sighs* ... yup... sort of expressing myself to T last night.. whooyay... it turned into a whole mess... and i actually feel the same pain i felt a while back... and here i thought i get over it already. yet the pain resurface itself to present it to me that it is still there... so my life is just a mess all over again... dam it all...
well, at least i know i'm yet to be over it and hoping to be sometimes soon. or my life will remain at the same spot, for it cannot move on if the pain is still there. shugsho!!! not sure if it spells right... anywho... i sorta don't wanna keep on talking to T anymore... the more we talk... the deeper i'm gonna be in... and the deeper it is... my life will likely be as miserable ashell... waaaah.... TT_TT
oh i come to work only to forgot my meds at home, so i gotta run home to get it. and woohooo.. my niisan broke the glass, lovely ain't it? he bitching if i broke it, but no one bitching him when he broke it. hah... he being an azs sometimes cuz he picked on me all the time, mainly on things i hate being pick on... but what can i do... we live in the same house, so just gotta shut up and move on with it... if he not my niisan he be focking dead by now... hahaha... yeah.. meds mess me up too...
sooo... i totally lazy now... dun really know what to say and just feel really tire... (meds) so shut up and leave me alone... dun feel like being polite... so don't pick on me... or i'll cuz you out... ja..

k.. no topic today... been sick yesterday so nothing was put on here.. >_<;; T was worried about me last night when we talked and i said i wasn't feeling too well. says i should go to the ER... XD hahaha.. omg... it's only a slight fever... feel really light headed.. then begins to drools real bad... and when i drools? i'm getting a cold or fever... this time was really bad.. so i have to walk home, can't drive... hands too shaky to drive... got home... feeling cold... then drools some more... then... hurl... bleh >_< for about 4-5x... until my breakfast is completely in the trash... and the water i drink come up too... XI
so i cắt some xả and xong... sweat a lot, and feel a bit better.. so i slouch on the couch and sleep til almost 5pm... gets up and xong again... then shower, and back to sleep til 7pm... omg.. i sleep so much, i thought my brain gonna turn to mush... XD
finally lynnee is home, so i asked her to cạo gió for me. and it's pretty bad... then she make cháo for me... i drinks some hot ginger tea, to keep the food i'm gonna eat down... and it did... so i have the soup... with salt... it stayed down... so pretty happy about that.. XD
this is like the second times i hurl... last time was because of my evil couging... which causes me to hurl... this time is just sickening... so now my entire body ache like crazy... and in about half an hour... i can go home... >_<;; so tire... and sleepy even with all the sleeping i did yesterday... gonna call doctor on monday and set the appt for thursday to get my tooth done... but for now, i'm just tire and don't feel so good... ja..

no more topic on anything anymore... just update on my site yesterday... wahhh... the dam spelling check button not working right and eat my post... *cursing under breath* for 1 hour of writing 11 paragraphs... b*tch... so i have to redo it and it got changes a bit, dunno if it's for the best or the dead... *shrugs*
what is it with ppl not reading anyway? O.o?! it's not like they don't pay attention when they read and just IM or email ppl... hate that kind of baka... seriously... been having ppl IMing me in viet when i says it clearly in my profile that i cannot read viet with no accent... yet they so lazy not to put the accents... buncha dumbazssonofabitch... then they say i'm mean just cuz i told em i don't know what they talking about cuz i can't read what they write in viet...
anywho, go out for dinner with Lynn last night... SUSHI!!! cook sushi though.. hahaha... and Dian come a little late, which is okay... we all have a blast... hehehe... didn't know dian and i have something in common.... wahahahaha... *cough, cough* but we both love horror movies... yay... ^.^ now i get to have someone to go to the movies with me... lalalala... *takes a knife and stabs somebody and watches the blood oozing out* hehehehe... >:) j/k lol...
neway... school starts tomorrow.... nya... hope it's fun one.... hehehehe...ja...

omg... so much azsholes in this world that i wish i have an atomic bomb to kill em all off. i didn't say anything mean to that azs and he go and nói móc me man!!! f*cking azshole....

ok... been like hm... *looks back on last post and count fingers* 7-8 days since i last complain about anything up here... hmm... that's not like me... i always have something to b*tch about up here, to entertain those who got nothing to do... hmm... weird... so now let me tell ya about junks i pick up the last 8 days of not putting anything up, eh? ain't nit suc?
first... shanked is back on the team again... don't really care that much anyway... cuz i'm about to be had it with the guild i'm in... once i leave.. i'm sure there be tons of invitation on my list... though i'm sure as hell ain't gonna join another one... been having enough of the gl's BS already... he's just full of it, ya know? if ya wanna tell somebody about your prob... pm them... not using the whole dam guild channel to talk... then about the meeting with the offs that he announced but never actual meet.. i'm a f*cking offs too... i got on just for the dam meeting and there's none.. me and this guy are both offs, but we don't have a f*cking clue what the f*cking hell is going on in the guild about us merge with another guild.. gl decided on his own... so why the f*ck bother to says we're gonna have a meeting and not be on for it... or hold it before with other ppl? he never offer his help to anyone... and when ppl ask him for help.. he's always busy doing something else... and all this 4 chars are like ascended.. can't you take some of your dam time to help the mems out?! you f*cking azsholesonofabitch?!
put that aside... cuz i ain't wanna talk about it anymore... done with that shyt... then i got a nice chaos axe that deal a 6-27dmg... for 1k... then bought another one 6-28dmg... max dmg for 1k again.. which is a sweet deal... and a shadow shield that req. 10 strength... which i can't use if i'm putting all my attr. points towards my axe mastery... which is way over ok for me... so i tried to dye my axes to see how it turns out... yellow don't do shyt to change it... so i put blue and it changes to like lime green color... wait... that was the red dye i put on... hahahaha... and the blue one turned out red glowing chaos axe... looks hot as hell... but my lv12 w/n got messed up.. it won't let me pull my attr. from hammer and put it on axe... so i have to delete it and create a new one... hah... such a pain in the azs...
but i rework on and got a silver dye while i was in pre-sear... and her name is Chosen Murderer instead of Hibiki Amawa... rofl... so evil ain't it... cuz my mo/ele? remember her? she's Chosen Prey.. and i work my azs off to get her to the desert.... she'll be working on ascending... then she'll ascend.. and bam! lv20 monky ele b*tch smacking ppl's azs with her wand... muwahahahaha... *coughs, coughs* ...=.=;; but i work on Chosen Murderer cuz i'm gonna get her to desert too... to be with her counter part.. then i'm back to work on Alex Glaze and Dancing Hime... AG is a w/ele specialize in swords and water spells... and DH is a r/ele specialize in bows and air spells... since my mo/ele specialize in healing and earth spells... she kicks major azs.. err... heal major azses... lol... forgot that she can't fight... hahahaha... *coughs, coughs*
Chosen Murderer is now a lv11 axe killer... with a lv3 bone horrors to do her bidding when needed too... she's in a full set of ascalon's armors.. and a wyvern helmet... she is at nolani academy... i'm gonna work on that mish tonight and get her to yak bend... then go back to finish up all the little petty quests in ascalon... before taking up tasks in shiverpeaks... then to kryta... after kryta is the desert... it's funny cuz last night on this mission... we started out with 4... then one left.. then another one.. so only me and a nec dude left.. thought we couldn't make it... but we haul major azs and make it anyway... only pizsed off cuz i can't get my bonus...
then we go with 2 mes.. which is stupid to begin with.. and a monk that don't heal only protect... his secondary is warrior.. but not his armors... the moron rushing head on into fight... and got kill good everytime... so good that i get sick of using my rez signet... i have to heal my own azs.. and i'm not even a monk.. so it's hard for me to heal... the mes suck cuz their secondary is nec.. but don't even make any bone horrors to keep us from getting our azses burnt... but the good thing is i didn't died once doing it with a useless monky... rofl... that's so corny and f*ck up...
oh yeah.. neko-chan is back from camping or watever the hell she go to... and we started a new rp series again... but i'm sure she her girl fall for my guy faster than he fall for her... it's a bet we make.. see who goes first... if she can maintain her virtual until he marry her... then her family's debt will be erased.. but if she lost it to him before marry... nothing changes... man.. it's funny as hell.. cuz i'm getting her good... poor thing... muwahahahaha... *coughs, coughs* the story will continues it course again tonight... wahahahaa... *coughs, coughs* well... that's enough fun for now... ja..

yosh! haven't been on like over *count fingers* 10 days now... ^.^;; hm... what's news... uh... got promoted to being a mod in a group i'm in... lol... so been busy getting the post up for the titles and things etc...
dunno what T up to..last heard was that T got a cold... bleh.. >_< oh.. waiting for A to send me the letter... A is going to be my hottie... if A's being good, I'm coming to visit A next summer... then we will be officially dating.. lol... if A still think we're still ok to date... i'm not sure, but so far we writes letter... A just suggested that when we writes.. we have to put part of a story together...
um... that makes no sense... but whatever... murderer is ascended after 10 days working on her... prey not anywhere yet... anywho, don't got much to complain about... getting busy with school and junk... haven't update on story or my site either... got a lot of unwanted thingy to work on... piles of homework and stuffs..
oh.. my mom is away again... dunno where the hell she is.. but it's always like that... so i'm not worry and i don't care about it either... lol... don't give a dam about it anymore... ja...

ever wonder why ppl want a piece of your life? hm... *smugs* me neither... god knows why they become so interested in your daily life so sudden... and yesh... gonna have this one guy gonna call me tomorrow... ^.^;; rofl... he forgot my number, but he remember about owing me lunch... on the first time we met... we go out for lunch.. and i happened to paid before he can, so now he keeps on nagging me about him owing my lunch... roflmfao....
anywho, was doing cable wire today... omg... O.o i screwed it up.. TT_TT feels so stupid... but whatever... i'm gonna strip the cable once i get home and rework on it... not gonna do anything with it... just doing it for practice and fun.. muwahahahaha... *cough, cough* what else? hm... been playing a lot of weird games on NP lately... it was fun... and i'm so dam broke on there... just upgrade the shop, destroy a room in the 6 rooms i built way back... forgot if i still have a stock i bought or i sold it ages ago... probably have to save up for a paintbrush... that cost like through the dam roof... TT_TT so dumb...
dunno what, but been so tire lately... i get sleepy before midnight... omg... O.o and i tend to wake up late for school too dam... mom? she's still not back yet.. doesn't bother me anyway... we not on speaking term for a very long time anyway... lol... oh, and i can't sleep so well even when i'm tire as hell... it's so weird... like i'm tossing and turning... thinking about some unrelated things that i shouldn't be thinking... wahhh... TT_TT
school been fun, but i need a hair cut... Y_Y my sideburns and back on my neck is getting long... >:-{ let see what else... hmm... just bought 100 stamps today.. $37... O.O well, just suck it up... cuz i don't have to ask my brother for stamps anymore everytime i send a dam letter to my cutey.. er... my sweety.. hm.. that's not right either... my kiddo... lol i call A kiddo way back when we still using IMing... now A can't IMing anymore cuz the comp. crashed... but we step up and i'm stuck writing letters instead... ^.^;; >_<;; holy cow... and to make matters worse... now we have to add a part of the story (which of us started the story first) along with the letter... o.o;; such a hassel... nuuu... dammit... >_<;;
what other things? hm... my friend's not getting marry.. cuz his gf/fiancee... haven't come yet.. he dunno what's wrong with her, but even i don't know what the hell is wrong with her either... >_<;; so he's going back to turk for a biz trip also to see his family too... be going this sat. and coming back sometimes in oct. *shrugs* but we haven't talked in a long time. lol... he missed talking to me.. hahaha... imagine that... must be no one to listen to him worrying about his girl... rofl... but i enjoy talking to him though, only thing is his eng. suk big time...
on GW, hmm... i tried villany... with buncha idiots... almost there but my friend was on.. so i get off to talk to em... way better than listen to gm whining like a girl about not being able to make it to war camp or wherever the f*ck that place at... and there's so many high lv greedy basterds... for real, i'm giving freebies to low lvs... and those dam lv 20 come asking for it... like fu and get your own items u f*cking greedy azs... but now i ain't giving freebies out no more... too many greedy azsholessonofabitch... seriously.. stop asking for things and money.. work ur azs off and get it on your own you lazy azs ppl... cuz i worked my f*cking azs off for what i got, so go and do it urself little basterds... lol...
hmm.. probably gonna be on for a bit tonight.. farming to get more items to salvy for woods... to make permants need 25 permants... for my last piece (scalp tattoo) for my monky... lol.. she's my b*tch... but no one's wh*re or wh*e... if anyone calls her that.. i'll let her shove the staff up their azs or shove the earth power up their azs instead... she is a geomonky after all... now i just need to find a good geowand... one hand is way better than 2... and a max E scroll in need of it... lol... somehow i got lotsa idol for some fu reason... lol... keep on getting dead items with my murderer... TT_TT so stupid... hahaha.. well, that's all for now... ja..
-late at night edit-
ok, just change my profile again.. getting too many morons on my IM and they starting to get on my f*cking nerves too... =.=** i stop feeling like adding strangers to my list, esp. guys... bleh.. >_< same question being asked when they IM me.. for one dumb reason, 'u have abf?' WTF?! can't you read the f-cking profile??! of course i don't and i'm so not f-cking looking for one either so STFU fool... rofl.. but they still don't get it... such stupidity, wonder why there's so many of em out there... hahaha... they shoulda go exinct or just die off or something...
seriously.. the next person asking about my personal things like dating issue. i'll curses their azs out... i'm sick of having to answer the same stupid question over and over and over again... that i'm not looking for a bf... what is it?! like ur words falls on deaf ears or something... mataku... =.=* looking for friends is to get to know ppl who i can talk to about my daily life.. not mainly my personal life.. and i like to listen to them too... not about if they're having a bf/gf or not... cuz it's none my biz. they tell me if they want to. i personally don't unless we known each other for over 4 months or longer... seriously... after knowing my one friend that long, i couldn't tell my friend about my problem for falling for someone i know i shouldn't... lol.. my friend have to force it out of me.. lol...
love hurt, and i thought i wouldn't step into it... but i did it somehow without even knowing about it, only to end up feeling so much pain... but i'm getting over it... one day at a time... and sometimes remembering about that one person... it hurts pretty bad... lol... but hey! i'm working on picking myself up and move on... it's not the end of the world if the one you love not love you back or break up with you... that's just life.. takes you on many twists and turns some just more painful than others... just gotta deal with it and move on... well, that's just me i guess... rofl.. but that's how i'm back being a loner... until this letter that supposed to be for me come... then we'll know if i'm going to keep on being a loner or being loved/lover.... hahahaha... life is full of unexpected things my friends... so expect the unexpected, eh? ;) ^.-
it's like if there's a glass wiht only half the water in it, would you says it's a half empty glass? or half full? if you says half empty... you have no life... half full, you're full of life and love... i'm in the middle... sometimes half empty, sometimes it's half full... so the world i'm in is just strange and crazy... just gotta look at it differently... and my view of things or not that of a normal way may i add... rofl... wouldn't you know it? hahaha... ja ne... gotta sleep now...

ok... let see... so much for my day... *sighs* so tire and annoyed... went to fow last night... funny as hell.. got a guy with the sn: mai kawk... (my c*ck) lol... we have a pretty bad team... and ah still haven't got my dam chaos axes yet.. didn't made it that far... though i got a max dmg fiery sword... which is pretty hot... lol... so hot that i'm on fire... hahahaha... hm... got lazy and don't feel like talking about anything today... might edit later on... buh-bai...

ok, im so goddam hungry right now.. haven't eat since breakfast... nothing to eat cuz my sis-in-law making cháo, which is so gay cuz im not sick dammit! been playing invasion of medirell or however it is spelled... bleh.. evil as hell, only have 5 villagers to work on and have to fight against 7 monsters while protecting the village and converting the enemies over to our side at same time... omg that's just fricking hard... seriously... dam... =.=** so i have no f*cking clue on what happen to everyone i know, it's like they all drop dead when school started or something... geezus...
talking about dumbness, went on uw last night... got roasted like a pig... or a human warrior i am... muwahahahaha... *cough, cough* so dam evil and gay... i wish i can get rich.. so dam broke, only got like 1plate in my storage... shyt... f*ck it all!!! roflmfao....
well not much to talk about, gonna have to finish up my homework for net class tomorrow.. my only day off... lol... it's evil i tell ya.. fricking evil.... lol.. lata y'all.. hey! i'm from the south... rofl...

ugh.. early morning and already got a headache... >_<;; oh on gw, lol i made 5 plates now... still broke, cuz i need 75k for my set of armors... but i got lucky last night and got lotsa weird things... lol lotsa stuffs... like runes and all that junks.. hahahaha... ain't it cute? lol... also got 2 elite skills... rofl... so cool... though bothe are useless skills to me... one is for hammer and other is blood skill.. so very usless... hahaha... though i think i'll go farming on my own.. going with ppl get me killed so quick... TT_TT that it's stupid and annoying like hell...
anyway, haven't been on and active on anything... getting dull on things again. and now i'm very frustrated about things... why ppl keep on telling me to expect a letter from em and it's been like a week and still no letter coming. i keep on waiting and waiting and now it pissed me off, gawd... can't believe i believe in such stupid things like waiting for a letter... but you know what? that's the stupid point about being in love... XD it hurts and it's very painful and annoying... i get tire of it now... just gonna get it all out of my system and forget about it.. lol.. wish it be that ez... rofl...
oh yeah, my friend takes her frustration out on me. ain't it sweet? i was just asking and she go and yell at me... >_<;; then she like 'i'm sorry, i was having a bad day' right... it doesn't mean you can and take it out on me... dammit! >_<;; i didn't take it out on you when i'm having a bad day... but i'm kinda use to having her doing that to me now, so i told her it's okay. lol, but really it's not okay at all... it hurt and annoying...
um... let see... san was on last sunday... lol... thought he forgot about me... can't believe he still remember me... rofl... poor thing... sadly his gf haven't come yet, she'll be done by aug. next year... lol... i'll be done by summer of the year after next... rofl.. i'm hoping... then maybe i can get a actual life... maybe finding someone i can share my daily life problems with.. it be nice ain't it?
but what was funny was that we talked for like 2 hours and i have no idea what we talked about to waste 2 hours... ^.^;; lol... i dunno what is it that we talked about that wasted 2hrs. proably about nonsense... who knows... lol... right now we're watching the 3 stooges... my brother love watching em, and i do once in a while... not addicted to it or anything like him, rofl... well, will whines more later on... ja...

ok.. so i haven't figure out what's with ppl's attitude problem is... really... i don't know what in the world is wrong with their brain... i feel bad for my neko-chan yesterday... i kinda snap... >_<;; shame on me... shouldn't be snapping at ppl like that.. but i can't help it. ppl is like... they wanted to talk to you, but they don't want to start a conversation with you. they rather you be the one talking to them first... why is that? seriously, i hated to be the person that always starts a conversation... not that i'm being mean, but doing it all the time kinda dull me out.
so yeah... my friend was on last night.. but i don't feel like talking to her... so i didn't bother to im her at all, probably she got mad cuz of it... who knows... girls are so hard to figure out. and even if i do, she just gonna snap on me again... she likes to take it out on me when she's having a bad day.. lol... kinda weird... but nothing i can do to change that... well, gotta run now... see ya..

once again.. the golden god has return to yap about more nonsenses... care to read it? lol.. bet ya do. finally got a letter from my friend.. nd replied it too.. but coming up with the next part to the story along with the letter is a little madning... believe me... it's seriously mad... but... i did it anyway.. lol...
well, i got T's number and muster up my guts and call... omg... T sounds so fricking cute... >_< makes me almost died from listen to the cuteness in T's voice. rofl... that's how cute T sounds to me... hahahaha...
well, life is as crazy as usual... i'm a mod to this site.. which is for students only... we discuss about topics in school which is pretty cool. um.. let see... *ponders* i finally leave my guild.. cuz i'm sick of being in it? lol.. who gives a damn about a guild anyway... i'm not big into guilds and only stayed cuz my friend asked me to stay... but he haven't been only for a while now... so listening to the new offs and the damn gl bragging ticking almost everyone off... so.. i said, "f*ck it all.. i'm leaving..." lol.. when he come back on... he ba so mad that i left... lol.. he gonna chew me out on how much he had helping me and all that sh*t... believe me.. he's not helping that much.. i helped him back in return and give him a lot of things too... and ain't give me sh*t... so if he get mad and chew me out? i'll just force to be nasty with him... i'm tire of his attitude anyway...
i've put up with his sh*t long enough... now i'm free and capeless.. which is cool... i get to see my char.'s azs swaying as she runs... rofl... i'm now a GGoD (Golden God of Darkness) lol.. i might make up my own guild and name it that.. hahaha...
oh... the letter thingy... lol.. almost forgot about it... my friend also include the phone number so i can call... lol... like i'm gonna do that... it's just too weird to call.. you know? i'm not who my friend think i am... lol... it will scare em and disappoint em too... but i have to go to BB after work today to buy a HD and a DVD-R for my brother... yesh... XD he's coming with me too.. cuz i ain't got no money to paid for his junks... cuz he wanted to change his HD again... can you believe it? omg... =.=** and he better keep his pc closed this time... or i'll trash it when it broke down again... mataku... seriously... he opens it up when i closed it.. and let dusts gets in... and it now got messed up again... mooo... that's just annoying as an idiot coming to me for advice on stupid things... anywho... ja ne...

okie dokie... hmm... listen to stupid song... *went and tries to smash the player but can't* anywho... don't think i'm gonna talk to T anymore.. the same stupid thing happens again... you don't go back to the guy that cheated on you... once... seriously... people just can't stop themself... not that i have anything to do with it... and i truly don't give a f*ck about it anymore... T can do whatever that hell T like to do... why the hell should i care? not like we're related or anything... i'm just being a good friend and shows some concer about T's choice in relationship... but what the hell... they don't even want your concern... lol... so... screw it all...
oh... as soon as i left FLG, my other buddy wanna invite me into his guild and some other people asked me to join their guild... cuz i was working on my ranger... lol... and they says i kick azs with my ranger... i was like 'lol... i did have 2 lv20 chars after all..' so what ya expect? lol... XD but there's no way i'm gonna commit into joining a guild again... they just lame and gayish anyway.. it dull me out really quick... for real... i mean the cape and guild hall are nice... but it's getting tiresome if no one is being friendly and active in the guild... even if they active, but if they not being helpful to the guildies.. then what's the point?
well, i finally got a sword i wanted for my other tank.. and now she have all 4 max dmg sword... woot.. woot... *dances around like a maniac* muwahahahaha... *cough, cough* although i wish they make female's armors less provocative... cuz it make us look like whores... for real.. the almost no clothes armors is a little too much...
i seen like a gladiator tank... omfg... so much skin showing... but the ranger and elementalist are much more skin showing than any other type of chars. not counting the monk... cuz monks have tattoo... thus they can be naked... only with bra and panties on... nec don't count cuz they hace scar pattern... XD
anywho... midterm is nexk week... lovely... i now only have one class because i finished up my other class' work already... thus the teacher kicked me out... XD lol... muwahahahaha... *cough, cough* so now i can focus on this class and trying to finish up the story on my site... muwahahahaha... *cough, cough* ho-boy... that was not a good sign to laugh like that.. but just can't help it... right? right?! O.O;; rofl... well, either way.. i'll get on like a month or sooner from now... jaaaaaaaaaa....

so it's been a while since i'm on... big deal, right? anywho... just check on my place... and my friend give me the bad news about his best bud 'Thor' passed away on the 12th at like 8pm EST... darn... so i have to post a reply to him... and sharing his feeling of losing a friend and best buddy/companion.... i'm not lying, i know how it feels... i've lost so many that i know how he feels...
well, aside from that... hurricane Wilma is due to kick into my place this coming weekend... woohoo.. yay... oh joy... =.= so now everyone trying to get gas like mad... this is gonna one hell of a pain in the azs for me to get some gas into my good old car tomorrow after class is over... geezus... please send someone so i can choke em to death.
put that aside then, me and that person from PA might not work out after all. i just send a letter to that person on tuesday or monday morning... forgot which one it is. confess everything about me that that person didn't know about, i don't want someone to love me for someone they think i am, which i'm not. i wanted to be love for who i am, not because of my gender. i show kindness and care doesn't mean i'm someone i'm not, and they mainly just assume that i'm someone i'm not when i talk. why is that?
oh well, things are always suck like that... and i swear to god or whatever the hell it is that you believe in... if another amazingly moron vietnamese guy IM me and writes in vietnamese, i'm so going to curse them out like a stupid moron they are. geezus... the world is full of bakas that don't read things carefully before IMing people... either that or they all blind... *sighs*


haven't been on here in a while.. so didn't write anything on here... or the story or any new poems for that matter of fact... been really tire and down for no reason... don't ask... cuz i ain't got no answer for ya...
on GW... hmm... been cheating a bit in there... i haven't ascended yet and i walks around like i am and made it to thunderhead keeps along with my monk and ranger (already ascended). let see... Murderer (lv20 w/n)-have 1.5k platemail & 15k dragon; Prey (lv20 mo/e)-1.5k ascentic & 15k saintly; Hime (lv20 r/e)-1.5k druid & 15k drak; Glaze (lv20 w/r)-1.5k knight & 15k ascalon... last one that needed ascension is Glaze... lol... and she just turned 20 too.. lol... already having a lot of people want her or other girls to join their guild already.. hahaha.. so funny...
school is just crazy as always... believe me it is very fricking crazy... my relationship? nothing new, just having a hard time whiping up a good part to my story... lol... this is like second or fourth times that someone asked me why not publish my work... lol... i don't know... just having it on my site is good enough i guess. i'm not ambitious enough... and i'm just happy with what i have for now... so it's all cool..
oh, been messing with the PSCS lately... kinda fun and frustrating at same time... i can't extract a picture right at all... so dam annoying somehow... but getting to mess with the background is fun.. i like working on the background than painting the picture itself.. or working on figuring out how to extract a figure from the picture... darn it all... lol... um.. all for now... no update on the story though.. been tire of things and stuffs.. not like anyone care, lol...
mata ne...

wow... been so long...

it was as though the world suddenly stop turning for me... and it was thanksgiving too... we didn't make any turkey or anything like that... lol... but it was quite rowdy though... T-san and his wife, N-chan... and their little daughter, shayla (thien kim) came down yesterday... she's so grown up now... like almost 2 already... awww... last time i saw her was like a kid... and now she can runs around and mess everything up... but she's a very well behaved little kid, so no worry on that... hahaha... um... kevin and his wife came home the night before thanksgiving... gawd... his wife is annoying the life out of me... lol.. but what can i do? she is after all married to my baka brother... hahaha...
Oh... Lucky bit me again... holy cow! O.O that little demon... always like that... geezus... and now my thump is still somewhat swollen from it... gah... and as usual... i went on GW to wish my buddies... well, those who are on that is... a happy thanksgiving... hahahaha...
And I discovered that I like this girl a lot... err... which is scary... thus it means i'm a complete abnormal person... but it nice... lol... um... i dunno... hopefully this feelings would go away.. right? RIGHT?! hahaha... man, i'm doom already... lol... ja... enough enterainment for y'all today...


so after a little over 3 months of not writing.. i'm back! yes... so deal with it... hahaha... school still sux... xmas sux... new year sux... vn new year totally sux... lol
let see... been working on afoys, lazy on wictl, good on db, and currently running another one soon... haven't played GW anymore... don't feel like it...
and the feelings... it went away... wooohooo... too much BS, peeps nowaday just stupid... literally... woot... steelers won... take that you monkey ditz of a dude that hating steelers... muwahahahaha... azs... anywho... been playing L2.. and we rock! yeah... i hate siege and didn't do it last night... which i feel bad for... lol... got a guy wanna leave us to join sp... luck to him... cuz i'll pk his azs afterward... sob... lol... the fool think he be ok if he joins sp... lmao, i know he gonna get his azs pked til he's lv 2 or something lower than he is now... lv53 and a total wuss... lol... chicken to do siege afraid of losing xp while i'm only a lv28 and do siege... sh*t i got killed in one hit... and i ain't complaining about the xp lost... why should he? cuz he's a wuss that's why!!!
when we group together, i wanna pk his azs anyway... so if he leaves out clan to be sp's dog? i fuking pk him every chances i got... lol... but with my alt... cuz my alt got no clan so i can pk his azs off... rofl... lil fool won't know what got him.... rofl... j/k... i ain't got what it takes to pk anybody... lol... but i know ppl who pk him just cuz he got an sp tag on him... rofl... i laugh my azs off to see that happens... rofl...
well, i'm back and yakking about junk... ain't it sweet? lol... anyone on L2? y'all see me... lol.. j/k... y'all ain't gonna see this cutey... rofl... lata...

Chibi is BACK!!!
ok ok... me hôm nay be nice talking in tiếng việt... hahaha.... heard someone on vl vẻ manga/anime đẹp lém nên chạy vào côi thử cho bét... hahaha... totally muốn lèm wen cô nhí đó luôn... hihhihihihi... mê manga/anime ghê lém...
hmmm... sorry don't do so well in vn... gomen... ^.^ things been okay... love my life... lol... wish i get to go to JP though... TT_TT but someday... i will... now? i'm just waiting patiently... hehehe... don't have much to say, so i'll see y'all around...
mata ne...

woot... wasn't as long as last time lol... howdy y'all? how my kitties and puppies doing? lol... male are puppies and female are kitties... rofl...
so about the person drawing anime on here? lol... scary.. seemingly can't take comments too well... lol... just pointers... anywho... put that aside... don't wanna get blast by ppl about it... lol...
let's see... *pacing* ....ohh... got someone asking about using my AS: setsuna moto boya pix for her site... will give me full credit for my art though... lol... so we talked and woohoo... i get to see it once she got the site up and running... how kewl is that?! ^.^
ohhh... drawing... lol... haven't done it since march... did about 3 pieces fer mah friend... lol.. one was 'gift' including Krin and Lady (my L2 babe and his L2 babe) lol... and 2 pieces fer my 'p+d' lol.. one is Krin and Lady, and other is Krinya and En.... very funny... lol... and they both are x-rated pieces though... lol... i mean the stories.. not my drawing.... i don't do x-rated art... lol... drooling huh?
ohh... and ms. morc. ... lol... she read my DI (devil inside) piece... lol.. only the prolouge anyway... hahahaha... she asked if i'm gonna draw a piece of art to go with it... cuz she wanna see it... lol... she likes the piece too... was 'very believable futuristic tech.' as she put it... lol... something about me having good imagination/crazy logical imagination... so i might have to make a sketch of it to satisfy her curiousity... lol... i think my imagination works better when i write in english than in vietnamese lol... weird huh? but who cares... lol... it might be my profession one of these days... j/k lol...
well, later my kitties and puppies... gotta get back ta work... adios me amigos/gas....
~chibi~

so... been a while again... a little over a month, eh?
afternoon rains always make me very irritated. why? i don't know... been so sleepy lately... falling asleep around 10ish now... getting old i guess...
i'm waiting til july comes... so i can start register for my fall classes... yes... i'm not that old...still going to school and all... but besides that, i'm dualing much of my times on 'dark soul,' 'A vs. U,' and retouch on 'A fraction of your soul.' also will or might do a run aground on 'a fraction of your soul 2' soon as i can get my scattered thoughts together... not much going on...
don't got much to say now a day... trying to read more... but some of the things i read is not even comleted yet... not good thing for me... hate reading things that keeps on leaving me hanging.. which i think i did that once in a while to people when i write.. not sure if i'm that bad.. hehehe...
i love most of the pieces i wrote... very much love in it... enjoyable nonetheless... i forgot when i begins writing love stories... hehehe... then starting with the ladies love story become even more amusing and satisfaction...
i've also noticed that most of works are influentual based on stuffs i've read or from things i seen on tv, etc... also find that writing same gender relationship proved to be much more of a challenge than the same old classic girl love guy, got dumped.. heart broken... then find new wonderful love and lives happily ever after... i'm focusing on the story.. not the happily ever after of it... but whatever else going on between two girls/guys... most are inspirable from how many people so homophobic and stuffs... i started out as a way to spike those kind of people... so close minded... i can't judge... hehehe... cuz i'm sometimes very close minded on the love issue myself... but everyone can love whoever he or she desired... it is their right... doesn't make them any less of a human than those who married or love the person of opposite sex.
i don't point fingers at anyone... i myself have no interest in relationship... i actually enjoying my life just the way it is... don't ever felt the need for companionship... i think i'm just really weird in that field... hehehe... hard to protest that i'm not...
currently enjoy reading, 'for you in full blossom' and 'please save my earth.' enjoys watching 'destiny of shrine maiden' or something like that... and sometimes rewatching what i haven't watched in so long... 'utena' Maybe i should go back and digs out that old 'this beautiful and ugly world' and watch... hehehe... got it since last year and haven't really have the time to watches it yet...
those stories really gives me a lot of insight on how to develope my characters... the storyline... and the relationship... and many other things to it... mostly is how to grapse the concept of describing something... mostly i have like a dictionary/thesureus with me when i writes... but that's when i'm at home... hehehe... i don't have one while writing this right now...
well, i'll come up and writes some more gibberish nonsense some other times.. eh?
ja...
=chibi=

so.. another long time past since i last wrote anything on here... you think i'm getting more mature as you read all these? i wouldn't know... ^.^ my life thus far has been a tiring twist and turn that even i have headaches and other sickness issues... not that there's anything to complain about.. after all.. just my life, right?
let's start off... i've become a little sidetracked once more from all the things that i have to absorb in all at once... ^_^ and i spent the 4th home alone and playing aRO, or more like talking with people on there... hehehe... the GMs should give me the 'FAQ staff' title... because i ended up answering so many questions that it's funny that i myself is just a newbie as they are.
i met someone on there that gives me quite an interesting first impression, but sadly i haven't seen that person since then... hehehe... fate tricked us i'm assuming... but nothing can be done about it... the odd thing is that we have so many things in common that it's spooky... i mean.. seriously a lot of situations we're in are so alike in scary way...
and so... soon after that, i finally am able to reconnected with an old pal again... it's a lil over a year since we've met.. and it's amazing that i actually remember that. ^_^;; and i also know she draws very well... so i requested a piece from her.. but it's more like she's doing it the way she wanted, not the way i wanted... ^_^ boy.. that's strange don't you think? and i also promised her that i too, will write a piece in return for the piece that she did for me. which of course, she have to finish it first and send it to me before i can work on the piece i promised her i would do...

Hello, how are you? It has been a long time, hasn't it?
I've traveled to the depth of darkness, only to find nothing actually exist there. In the darkness the only thing I found was loneliness, a complete utter feeling that I cannot get away from. I spent many days on end in that darkness, as I tried and tried to find a way out. But... it is not possible, because in the darkness you cannot see a ray of ligh that will guide you out from that deep, sorrowful darkness. The darkness soon plagued my heart, and before long it plagued my soul...
My very existence disappeared overnight... What can I do to be visible? So I fought against my own sorrow and reaches for the light, even it is only a tiny ray of light. I wanted to go for it, I yearned to feel it again. But the darkness told me that leaving here, would only mean to destroy myself later on. I was thinking it was a desperate attempt darkness done to keep me from yearning to leave this lonely place. But I was wrong... completely wrong...
What darkness meant was to warn me of the real world that I'd escaped from to this dark place. A world where ignorant is a bliss, and there's nothing you can do about it. A world where blood is shed, and dominant will keep you alive. The world where Fate played a cruel trick on me, killing the person I loved most in the world by my own hands. A world where every waking moments give me nothing but haunting memories of the time we shared.
I realized that the world of light is nothing but pain to me, so I chose to headed back to this lonely darkness. Here, i begins to grapsed onto how I feel comfort and warmth. For the first time in a long time, I'm actually happy being in this darkness. Here, i was told I can build my own world... A world where I control, everything around here... Even bringing her back, yes...
Finally, we're together again... Her jet black hair have grown quite long since I last saw her, and her smiles never changed. Such a bliss, we spent countless hours catching up on all those years of us being apart. She even cooked dinner, which is something she don't do very often when we're together. I am glad... because now it's just only the two of us... forever until the end of eternity... nothing can break us... not even fate can play a cruel trick on us this time around...
I will always hold her in my arms and never let her go, because she might disappear if I let go of her. What is it that still frightened me so? We're living together in happy, yet I'm not truly happy... What is it that is still missing? Was it the lack of people? No, that couldn't be it... She didn't mind that there's only the two of us, and she'd reassured me many times that she's happied just being with me. But what is this doubt that I'm feeling?
Alas, all dreams must come to an end... Reality once again crept up to me, as the morning sun told me it's time to get out of bed. The house is cold and empty, and she is gone. A picture of us together on the nightstand, I cried yet again as memories come flooding back to me. It has been two years since her death, yet I still can't get over her. Maybe it's the just punishment I deserved, for pulling the trigger. We were of different worlds to begins with, then I thought we be the same when I told her I'm going to be a cop. She was happied, but little did I know she has changed career.
In the end, Cop and Robber cannot be together. That is the fate, and the pain that I now endure everyday of my life until my last breath. Though I wished she hadn't moved her hand a bit and just aimed right at me. It would be much better if we both died at the hands of one another, rather than she dying by my hands. I guess she wanted me to never forget her, to forever have her in my memory no matter how much time has past me by. Now I truly tasted the bitter of love, the pain, guilt, and loneliness of love...
With my last breath, I hope that she'll be there when I'm gone. Standing there with open arms and a warm smile on her face, welcoming me into her arms. Together, we will be inseperable...
(inspired by random thoughts that occured spontaneously)

Has it been that long? I've seem to forgot things lately, maybe I'm slipping away from the reality that we all know? Life is as complicated as usual, but we all have to move forward and maybe achieve what we set out to do in the first place.
I wanted to know what's like to be in love, to be heartbroken, and to be alone in the darkness. I felt searing pain from things that I didn't understand, but how can you explain what love really is? How can you tell me when you know that you're in love? Isn't it just a word we use? Everything we do is put into words to describe our action, feeling, and what-not. To me is words can mean anything, only what we do and feel isn't a lie.
Can you say that you're who you are? Can you dare to say that you are in love with the person that's the same gender as you are? Or would you be afraid to say it out loud, because society would look down upon you and hated you? Would you stand up for what you believe in, or bow down in shame? Would you be proud of yourself, or ashame of your own feelings?
Me? I wouldn't know, because I'm not in love. But I can tell you that I'm proud of who I am, I'm proud to say the least that I'm being me. I'm happy being myelf, so I need not to pretend to be someone that I'm not. I am is who I am, and until I find the person that I would fall in love with. I would say that I love that person regardless of gender, because I love them for who they are. I didn't love the body alone, but the mind behind it and the soul within it.
I'm sure my family would disapprove of it if the person I love is not the opposite gender of me, but I could care less what they think. I've always value my family above all else, but when it comes to who I'm in love with. That is something else, because then it is about my life and happiness and not of my family's.
Sometimes though, I have to wonder if I'm going to meet this person that's meant for me any time soon. People tend to say that there's always someone there just for you, but I kind of doubt it. If it is true, then how come we haven't met yet? But this would sounds like I'm desperate, don't you think? What can I say? I'm in need to having someone to amuse me, because my life can be quite dull without being amused. Life itself can be quite amusing if we stop long enough to look back at our past, laugh about it and move on into the future that awaits us.
It is like in a moment of rage, I lost control of who I am. Yet I'm still forgiven because I know my faults and fix it. But sometimes, sorry don't always make things right. Being forgiven isn't always a good thing, because you'll end up being hurt over and over again by that person. I've learned that lesson from way back, yet I still can't help myself but being forgiven to a certain extend.
Does any of these make any senses at all? I can't tell, and certain can you...
May you all have a good day....

i feel like fate just played a very cruel trick on me

things always mess with me...

was gonna wait til aug. 21 of this year to post again, just to make it a one year thing since i last visited. ohmygod!!!! O_O||
I'm back!!! Like anyone cares, but lots of things happened since I last visited. Let see, I'm a much happier person (not that much though) and getting ready for the move. Hoping to go somewhere out of state this coming summer, well it's always summer where I live.
School and work got pretty hectic, and it's close to Final Exam so things are getting worse. Once I get everything done, more free times to do other things and plan for my trip (just hope I can go).

Yay me! I'm graduating and have to start looking for a job... wooohooo... it turned out that I can't go anywhere over the summer at all. *sniffles* Though I'm hoping my friend get the job and move out and also get the car he wanted. It be so cool because then I could come up there and we can be roommate while I can look for a job. Maybe I would work for the hospital, not that I like the environment but if I can get a job there I'll be happy.
I'm just thinking it would be so good for me to be away from my family (to learn the value of family by not being near them 24/7) and also a good chance for me to learn to be on my own. Well, at least with a roommate *laughs* but either way, it would be awesome is what I would be hoping for. Though I'm really hoping he would get a damn job and move out already *laugh cynically*
My friend is like a dork with an extremely annoying streak, he pretty much b*tch about almost everything that involved his weird ex (it made him depress). But we've been friend since like November of last year, and I haven't really got mad enough to tell him that I hate him. *laughs* Oddly, seemed like yesterday and it's almost been a whole year since I've known him. We're still friend and talking and having good laughs, that's really something since people tend to bore me with their nagging ***. *laughs*
Well, see ya around...

It's been pretty cool lately, no hurricane yet. I'm heading to NY next month to visit S, hope I don't kill him before then. M become a grandma last week, the baby was sooo cute though. Nip turned like five two days after my b-day, sheesh I feel old like um... turtle?
By the way, what's with the boobs obssession on tv these days? It's like that's all the dudes would look at when they saw a woman. either way, I don't care much about it, though I found it to be funny to watch something on tv and saw women with huge boobies. HA!
well, I'm hoping to get a job while I'm up there and maybe move up there. Me and S. going to be roomies, that make me wonder how long before i kill him. i'm also feeling pretty nice because no more crazy girls to deal with, otherwise i think i be dead by now. though the project i have to work on with S really stressing the hell out of me. hope those people made up their mind so we could get it done, i really am never going to accept another project ever again. not worth it, even if they paid me a million dollars. the headache i get along with irritation isn't worth the money...